


Safe & Sound

by bookwormally



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Brotherly Bonding, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Post-Kingdom Hearts III, Recovery, Saving Sora, We believe in Sora, characters will be tagged as they appear, dlc hype is free real, ignores the implied setting of the secret ending, its just easier for me!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2020-10-13 11:27:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 36,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20581751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookwormally/pseuds/bookwormally
Summary: Kairi has come home, but Sora is gone. Grieving the loss, his friends search for a way to find him and bring him home.In the dark, Sora finds himself broken into pieces like he never has been before. He's not the only one. Still alive despite his best efforts, Vanitas looks for a way to finally be free of everything. Sora is probably the answer. It's usually goddamn Sora.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have no self-control and had to cut a bunch of ideas from Chains so HERE WE ARE AGAIN.  
It's always such a pleasure.
> 
> This one is a true-ish post-canon fic. The divergent part is basically in regards to whatever the dlc might throw at us & ignoring twewy coming back. Other people have written it and much better than I ever could! So go read their fics!!
> 
> Anyway, here we mcfricking go!

_ In a dark, dark wood _

_ There was a dark, dark house. _

_ In that dark, dark house, _

_ There was a dark, dark stair. _

It was an old rhyme his mother used to tell him before bed. The surprise at the end was that the whole dark place was the home of a sleepy mouse, tucked away in a cozy cupboard room. The perfect bedtime story for a boy who wasn’t happy in the dark.

As Sora feels himself falling deeper and deeper, bits of light flying up and away from him, he remembers the rhyme.

_ There was a dark, dark hall, _

_ That led to a dark, dark room. _

His eyes slip closed as everything around him disappears. 

No glass rises beneath his feet to stop his descent.

No light appears to call him back.

No dark shore catches him in its waves.

Sora falls and falls. He feels himself peeling apart, like the pages of an old book finally free of their spine.

He doesn’t feel himself come to a stop. The darkness around him is absolute, it looks no different from the rest he’s fallen through. Sora settles in its depths like the shells lost to the endless silt of the ocean.

Time passes.

Eyes open in the dark and look upon the boy.

* * *

He’s never seen a mirror so large. It looks like a deep dark pool stood on its side. Ventus approaches it carefully. It will tell him something important, but it scares him how he cannot see the bottom. Like a flicker of candlelight, his image grows in the mirror as he moves closer.

Short, blond, and ‘cute’ to all the other dandelions no matter how much he insists that he’s no cuter than any of them. Laurium always chuckles and ruffles his hair. Ventus brushes a hand through it now, tugging it out of his eyes. It’s him in the mirror, him standing alone in the dark. Ventus glances over his shoulder and can see the door back. He’s not lost, not yet.

He turns back to the mirror and sees himself for a moment. Then with an echoing crack, the mirror breaks right down the middle. Ventus jumps back, breathing hard, but nothing else happens. A crack runs right down the center of the mirror, veering from side to side, but each half looks almost even. 

Ventus exhales and steps closer again. He still has something to learn. 

His image does not appear again. Instead he looks at two teenagers. On one side, the teenager looks like him. They’re blond and they smile and they swing their arms behind their head. Ventus smiles back, but the image turns away, looking at something he can’t see. Slowly, they start to walk away.

The other half of the mirror doesn’t move. The person there stands in tense stillness, their hands fisted at their sides. They look unfamiliar, like no one Ventus has ever known with dark hair and bright yellow eyes. Silver metal frames their jaw and they stare back at him with something painful in their eyes. One hand lifts toward him, pressing against the mirror. They glance toward the him that is leaving, their other hand lifting. They can reach neither.

Ventus squeezes his shirt over his heart. He doesn’t know who they are but it hurts to look at them. Who are they? What does it mean for him?

The unfamiliar face gives him another pained look and then slumps downward, curling in on himself. 

It’s wrong. He doesn’t like this. Ventus should leave, get out of this place of darkness before it consumes him. He looks at the mirror, at the images both close and growing ever distant. The crack between them flickers with blue light, bright despite the darkness.

Ventus looks at the two figures again and his heart aches. A voice whispers in his ear but he doesn’t understand the language it speaks. It steadies him regardless. He steps up to the mirror and still his image does not appear. _ Who I am now is already-. _

Ventus lifts a hand, curled into a fist and strikes the mirror right on the crack. It shatters into red and green shards and he can feel his heart do the same. Eyes slipping closed, he falls forward into them, darkness wrapping around him.

_ “It’s alright. I’ll keep you safe!” _

Ven jerks awake, breathing hard, with a hand fisted in his shirt over his heart. He relaxes it, rubbing at his chest, and stares up at the star spotted ceiling. The dream, so vivid and dark, fades back as reality pieces itself together around him. He sits up and shoves his hands through his hair. His room is the same as always, window cracked to let a breeze in on one hot summer night. The shadows in the corners are still, no eyes glowing from their depths. He's home.

He turns to the window and leans on the sill; the breeze chases the nightmare sweat away from his face. The images in the mirror still linger in his head and he looks up at the stars. The sky here is no deep dark pool, but the space between the stars looks so empty to him.

It's been over a month since Kairi came back and they lost Sora. The only place he could be is so very far from them, down in the darkness beneath the darkness.

Ven isn't sure that Sora is entirely alone there.

_ "What I am...is darkness." _

Ven frowns at the sky, at the mirror in his dreams. "What do you want me to do? He made his choice."

But what reason did Vanitas ever have to be something else? What had the light ever done for him?

It's too late for this argument, the same one he's been having with himself since the graveyard. Ven flops back on his bed, under stars that glow with a false light.

_ "I'm the shadow that you cast. How much closer could I be?" _

With a groan, he shoves both hands over his face. The worlds are at peace, everything’s great again except for Sora not being home. Why does this one thing keep _ bothering _ him?

“Ventus?” The voice, quiet but friendly, comes from right above him. He drops his hands and looks up at Chirithy. They tilt their head, an adorable stuffed animal brought to life. “Are you okay?”

Ven sighs and drops his hands at his sides. “Yeah, fine, just a dumb dream.” He’s still not sure about Chirithy, about where they come from, when they met, but they’re cute and they seemed so scared to look at him. Joy had already had him smiling when he saw the creature. He couldn’t _ not _ hold his arms out. Whatever the past, they’re friends.

Chirithy shifts on his headboard, a perch that looks uncomfortable but they seem to like. “Okay. You should go back to sleep.”

He scoffs. “No way. I’ve slept for years.” So many, many dreams, all with the same boy. He has to get Sora back. Ven rolls onto his side and then sits up. “I’m going to go get a drink, see if that makes me tired.”

“Do you want company?”

He reaches out and rubs their head. “No, somebody should get some sleep. I’ll be back soon, okay?” _ It’s a promise. _

Chirithy doesn’t smile, but they do seem to brighten. “I’ll be here!”

Ven gives them a smile and then pads into the hall, taking no notice of the cold stone floors under his bare feet. He’s wandered the halls of the Land of Departure many a night; it’s a comforting sort of chill.

He’s glad the walls aren’t white anymore. Those had been the worst dreams.

It’s not a far walk to the kitchen, even though his room is up in one of the towers. It’s like one of the Master’s old stories about the hearth being the center of a home. At least it means he’s got fewer walls to bump into on his way to breakfast when he’s exhausted in the morning.

The lights are low when he gets there, close to off, and it casts the kitchen in a gloomy, unfriendly aura. Ven reaches for the switch and a shape at the table moves. He calls his keyblade immediately and the light from its summoning shows wide human eyes.

Terra’s got both hands held up when Ven bumps the lights up enough to actually see him. “Sorry,” Terra says immediately. “Sorry.”

Ven exhales in a huff. “I should say sorry to you! I’m the one pulling my keyblade.” He moves to the table and the seat across from Terra. Terra just shrugs. Ven reaches across and steals his mug. He gives it a sniff and then a look. “Is this tea?”

“It’s leaf water.” Terra smile a little but it quickly drops as he looks away. “I shouldn’t be sitting in the dark, but it’s…”

Ven takes a sip of tea, watching him. When Terra seems disinclined to continue, he does. “You’re allowed if it makes you feel better.”

“I shouldn’t be comfortable in the dark.” Terra grabs his forearm in one hand and squeezes, the skin going pale with the force. “It’s not going to help me...be who I was before.”

“Terra…” Ven frowns and pushes the cup back to him. “It’s not that simple, come on. Even Aqua-.” He stops and makes a face. “You guys both have stuff to deal with and it’s going to take a while. I don’t expect you guys to be exactly the same. We can’t pretend it didn’t happen. That seems...cruel, I guess.” Ven is glad to know about what happened to him before he came here, even if it hurts. Not knowing, about Xehanort and what he’d done, never helped him. If he had known…

_ A cracked mirror, flickering blue in its most broken parts. _

Terra is looking at him with a strange expression. Ven shrugs. Terra smiles tiredly and wraps both hands around the cup. “You’re not the same kid you used to be. When did you get so smart?”

Ven grins at him. “I had a lot of time to study, what can I say?”

“You? Study? You’re definitely not the Ven I know.” Terra’s face looks more like _ him _ when he’s happy. It’s much more rare now, but every time, Ven feels a bit more hopeful.

Now, he just sticks his tongue out. “I’m serious Ven now. Studious Apprentice Ventus.”

Terra snorts and then chokes. He smacks himself in the sternum until he catches his breath. Ven considers stealing the cup back if Terra can’t manage to drink and breathe at the same time. Terra leans back, laughing, and it clears the air. “Ah, studious apprentice Ventus, will you give me lessons?”

Ven hums, considering. “Maybe. What do you want to know?”

“Tell me about Sora.” Terra’s face is still happier, less tiredly lined, but there's a sadness in his brown eyes.

Ven looks away; he knows what his face does every time he hears the name. Sora is _ gone _ and he hasn’t been entirely without him for over a decade. “He’s...come on, you have to heard from everybody by now.”

“In parts. But I want to know what you know about him. He was just a regular boy that day. What did I miss?”

Ven tugs at a loose thread in the hem of his nightshirt. “You...you didn’t really miss anything. Sora was normal. He was a kid. He just...was a kid who gave. He gave to me; he gave to everyone. But he’s normal. He loves his friends and his mom. He loved playing games and running races and wanted an adventure with his friends more than anything.”

“Even while he was dealing with all this _ stuff _, he was doing it for his friends, to get them back home so they could be safe and happy again. He never cared about power or this stuff. It was about protecting people.” Ven’s throat is tight and he forces himself to swallow. “Even when things were at their worst, Terra, Sora always believed in his friends.”

A warm hand squeezes his shoulder. Terra’s moved to be beside him. “Are you okay? It must hurt a lot, not knowing where he is after being so close.”

Ven scrubs at his eyes. “We hardly had a _ real _ conversation, but it feels like I’ve lost my little brother. Terra, I have to help him come home.”

Terra squeezes his shoulder again. “I know,” he says softly. “We’ll figure something out. It’ll just...take time. We have to believe in Sora, like he did in all of us.”

The one person Sora believed in the least: himself. Ven believes in him, more than anything. If there was anybody who could make it through all of this and come back, it’d be Sora. He turns and hugs Terra tightly. “I do. Sora will be okay somehow. But, I’m still going to try and find him.”

Slowly, Terra hugs him back. “You helped find me.”

“Yeah.” Ven buries his face in Terra’s shoulder, hiding his stupid tears. Yeah, they found Terra. It took him and Aqua and Sora, but they got him back. It takes a bit of help...

_ ‘How much closer could I be?’ _

‘If you’re that close,’ Ven thinks harshly, ‘help Sora.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to clarify because I'm sure it will come up, no Ven doesn't remember most anything from the dream. No names, no concept of the Dandelions, and nothing from the war. He remembers the mirror and seeing himself & Vanitas. What he remembers as we go on, well... ;)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, fair warning, Vanitas isn't in the best of mindsets here. Warnings for self-destructive thoughts and some violence (nothing graphic)

He’s not moving. He’s lying there like a corpse, letting the darkness sway around him. 

Pathetic.

There’s nothing here but darkness, but it’s not hard to press it together into a small ball. It wants to be used, to be shaped. He gives it what it wants and then throws it at the body’s head. It hits, of course, but there’s no response.

“Pathetic,” he growls out loud this time. It echoes around him, strangely muted and indistinct. He hates that, how foreign he sounds. Whatever, add another wrong thing to the pile. He’s used to the weight.

Rolling up a bit more darkness, Vanitas takes aim at the body’s head. He hits him right in the nose and still there’s no fucking response. How fucking sad.

Perched on a bit of darkness he pulled from the ground, Vanitas looks down at what is clearly Sora’s body. He’s not responding to anything, but he doesn’t seem to be dead. If he was, he certainly wouldn’t be here. If he was dead...well, Vanitas would be a bit more pleased with things. Or wouldn’t feel anything! Because he finally wouldn’t  _ have to. _

Growling, he leaps from his created perch, feeling it disperse behind him in a cold wind. When his boots hit the ground, the darkness waving between him and Sora pulls back. It’s almost easier to order the darkness here than it ever was to order the Unversed. His emotions have always been too much.

He covers the distance between him and Sora slowly. There’s a chance the kid finally grew a brain and is waiting for him to get closer before revealing himself. It’s a small chance, but it’s a chance. Vanitas only takes the chances that are worth it. Here, too many things are different and odd. He’s not taking chances until he knows how steady the ground underneath his feet is.

Sora still hasn’t twitched by the time Vanitas stops beside him. Vanitas squats down beside him, arms on his knees, and stares at his face. It’s slack as if the boy is well and truly unconscious. Or dead. One of the two. Vanitas reaches down and flicks him in the cheek. Still no response.

“Well, well, well, what finally got you then? My master? Wouldn’t surprise me. You played right along and probably hand-delivered the x-blade to him. Idiot. Are all your friends dead too? Will I find them lying around here like broken toys?” Vanitas leans on his other hand, staring at Sora’s face. There’s still  _ nothing _ happening.

“Is this what he did to the world? Is that why it’s all darkness? You got yourself killed and I get to see it? What a  _ reward _ .” Vanitas spits the last word, bitter vile that he wants to rid himself of. “Where’s Ventus? If I had to be drawn to a fucking body, I’d rather it be mine than  _ you. _ ” He stands up straight again, looking around. 

The darkness is a creeping fog, formless but dense. He squeezes his hands into fists, tight enough to hurt. If Ventus was here...he would know it. He’s always felt that tug, that connection. There’s no one here, no one but him and Sora.

He looks back down at the body, fury building under his skin. It bubbles over, but none of the Unversed come crawling from him. Void Gear does, appearing like the heavy hurtful thing it always is in his hand. He slams Sora in the side with it, sending the body sprawling. It still doesn’t react. 

Vanitas screams, pure primal anger. He lunges at Sora, determined to get something from the stupid broken thing even if he has to pry him open to find it. Void Gear slams into his chest again and there’s no satisfying cough of a forced expulsion of air. Vanitas pins Sora’s body to the ground, grabbing him by the throat and holding his keyblade above his head. “Wake up, goddamn you! Wake up!”

He lifts Sora by the throat and slams him to the ground. “If I’m going to be stuck here, still  _ alive _ , then you have no right to be  _ this! _ ” He’s screaming in Sora’s face, demanding something, any kind of acknowledgement.

He starts to squeeze. What does it matter? He’s already d-.

Sora gasps. His eyes don’t open, his hands don’t lift to scrabble at Vanitas’s fingers, but he gasps, a desperate breath for life.

Vanitas drops him and retreats, breathing hard. Sora lies collapsed where he left him, but now Vanitas can see him breathing. It’s very subtle, the barest breaths, but he’s breathing. Not dead.

What is he going to do about this?

Staring at him, Vanitas draws his knees up and wraps his arms around them. He stares and stares and all Sora does is breathe his shallow little breaths.

“Where are we?” Vanitas asks the darkness, the body. “What did you do?”

Unsurprisingly, there’s no answer.

He digs his fingers into the suit covering his legs, the ridges perfect for tugging at. 

“Why am  _ I _ still here? Why won’t anyone let me go?”

Those questions are softer, not for anyone to answer. They never will. He already knows the answer in part. 

He’s a useful tool; he needed to play his part.

Vanitas drops his head onto his knees.

He did it, everything his master asked. He did it  _ twice _ . Why can’t he be done? Why can’t he just be fucking  _ done?! _

No one answers. His harsh pants seem so loud in his ears.

He lets go, forcing himself to his feet. Dwelling, he can’t dwell. That’s when he gets into trouble. That’s when he had ideas. That’s when he questioned, when he was  _ punished _ .

Vanitas moves. He stands and strides back over to Sora’s body. He grabs hold of the front of his shirt and pulls him up, almost so he’s sitting. “You, whatever you did, you’re the reason, aren’t you?”

Sora’s head lolls to the side. Vanitas can only feel the slightest flicker of life, of light from him.

His eyes narrow. “You did this,” he mutters. “So, you’ll undo it. If I actually wake you up...you’ll finish me off. I’ll be  _ done. _ ” Vanitas laughs a little, high and shaky. “I have to help  _ you _ to get what  _ I  _ want.”

Ridiculous, stupid. Sora ruined his life, ruined his chance to take Ventus back.

He’ll do it.

He wrestles Sora around until he can lift the body onto his back. Sora’s arms dangle over his shoulders and he wraps his arms around Sora’s legs. Slumped against his back, he can feel the slow beat of Sora’s heart, still going despite how broken he is.

Vanitas sighs and looks around them. The darkness is the same in every direction. He still doesn’t know where they are.

Fine.  _ Walk forward. _

It’s an easy command to follow. Always keep moving.

Vanitas walks, Sora’s heartbeat the only thing he can hear.

* * *

Ven finally wakes in the morning, not to the sun streaming through his window or a knock at his door, but to the loud jangling song of his gummiphone.

Groaning, he reaches out and grabs it from his other pillow. The image on it, a little ringing phone set, does not tell him who’s calling. “Gotta tell Ienzo to work on that,” he mumbles and then hits the button to answer. “Hello?”

“Oh wow, Roxas does your hair look like that in the morning? He’s like a baby chick!”

“Hey! No! I never look that messy!”

Ven groans again and drops his face back into his pillow. Xion and Roxas continue to argue for another minute and he happily considers hanging up on them.

“Anyway, wake up, Ven!” Xion all but shouts into the phone.

Ven lifts his head and glares at the two of them on the screen. Wherever Xion and Roxas are, it looks like a beautiful afternoon. He can see the trees waving in some kind of wind and Roxas waves with an ice cream bar that looks partially melted. “Hey, what’s up?”

“You guys called me? I don’t know what’s up.” Ven lifts a hand and shoves his hair out of his face. “It’s like...six am here.”

“No, it’s not,” they chorus and smirk at him.

Xion waves the phone a little, shaking the picture. “Ienzo put in clocks to track the time on each of our worlds. You’re sleeping late. Wake up! This is important.”

Ven is about to groan again when Chirithy lands on his back like a heavy pillow. He grunts and looks over his shoulder. Chirithy waves at him. “They’re right! Wake up!”

“Go to sleep, wake up, would you all pick one already,” Ven mutters. Chirithy just pats his back with a little paw. He turns back to the phone.

“Is this a ‘phone call’ important or a ‘come over’ important?”

Xion frowns. “Um…”

Roxas leans closer. “You should come over if you’ve got time today. We’ve got...well, it’s something weird, but it might be a good weird.”

“Maybe a good weird. And you haven’t been here yet! You’ll like it and we’ve got so much to show you.” Xion’s smile is back, but as Ven looks between the image of their faces he can tell something is up.

He pushes himself upright, Chirithy rolling off to the side and patting its pouch. “Okay, I’ll go check with Terra and Aqua and then head over. Chirithy, you want to come?”

Chirithy nods. “I want to meet more of your friends!”

“Aww, we finally get to meet them? I can’t wait!” Xion holds the phone out so they can see both her and Roxas. “We’ll be in the clearing by the old mansion so you can fly in. See you soon!”

“Yeah, I’ll shoot you guys a message if something holds me up. Bye.” Ven hangs up and then tosses the phone back onto his bed. “Chiry, can you go find Terra and Aqua? I’ll get dressed and then come find you.”

Chirithy nods and then rolls to their feet. They bounce off the bed and then vanish in a puff of smoke with a squeak.

Ven looks out the window at the bright sunshine. It really is a beautiful day. A good day for visiting friends and doing something maybe good weird. Ven smiles at the view and then goes to get around.

* * *

Terra and Aqua are cleaning up one of the storage rooms and wave him off with the promise to message them when he gets there and when he’s coming back. It’s very domestic, but at least Aqua’s eyes are flashing with panic less whenever he wants to go visit his friends. Small steps.

Chirithy disappears once he’s put his armor on; the dream eater always appears in their own way. He takes off through the Lanes Between, smiling as the light swirls around him. It’s replaced with the quiet darkness of space and Ven exhales. The Lanes Between are always strangely quiet, empty too except for the stars. Traffic between worlds is still mostly impossible and seldom spoken of.

He looks around himself, at all the stars, at the dark spaces between them. It doesn’t feel as empty when he’s out here as it does when he looks up at the sky. It’s probably a bit weird, but if he’s out here, then it can’t be a complete void. Other people could be out here too, even if he doesn’t see them. He’s seen them before.

He closes his eyes and slows to a stop. His keyblade glider hums underneath his feet, but he just stands and listens. Silence, almost entirely pure silence. It’s strange, a bit scary, but also comforting.

Ven opens his eyes again and soars toward Twilight Town, the stars streaking in the distance. 

Twilight Town is unsurprisingly gorgeous. Ven is sure that the light of his arrival is difficult to see with the brilliance of the sunset painting everything in the sky. He soars over the thick trees that fill the hills around town. The forest clears slightly and he can see the orange-tinted roof tiles of the old mansion he’s heard about. His glider dips as he leans forward and it only takes him another minute to reach the ground.

Habit keeps his armor on as he surveys the immediate area. Nothing springs out and he hits the button to retract it. Shaking his legs out, he looks toward the mansion. Chirithy appears in a puff of smoke to ride on his shoulder. “Xion? Roxas?”

“Over here!” Roxas calls and Ven see an arm waving from behind one of the pillars.

“What are you guys doing?” Ven comes over at a jog. He circles around the broken pillar and finds the two of them standing behind it, Xion on Roxas’s shoulders. 

Xion is holding a piece of paper to the pillar with one hand, the other holding a crayon that she’s rubbing firmly over the paper. Some kind of pattern is appearing and Ven shades his eyes to try and get a better look. “What’s this?”

“Art,” Xion answers distractedly.

“Naminé always saw them from the window and wanted to see them closer. But she’s still getting used to the new body and stuff, so she can’t come see for herself yet.” Roxas, his hands holding Xion’s feet in place, gives a very small shrug. “So we’re bringing it to her.”

“Art,” Xion repeats and pulls the crayon back. “All good, Roxas.” She waits for Roxas to loosen his grip and then jumps down. Roxas rolls out his shoulders one at a time. Xion smiles and drops the paper and crayon into a nearby pile. “Thanks for coming, Ven.”

“Hey, no problem. It’s nice to see you guys.” Everything had been so fast with the war and Xehanort, but now that it’s over, he’s had plenty of time to get to know them. Sharing a face with Roxas is weird, but it really only took them getting into a long talk about flying with Tinkerbell and a heated argument about ice cream to get past it. Xion was even easier. She took his hand, introduced herself, and asked if he would teach her how to throw a better strike raid than Roxas.

Ven’s really glad to be friends with them along with Lea and Isa again. Chirithy bounces off his shoulder and over to one of the pillars. He folds his hands behind his head. “So, what’s up?”

Roxas thumbs through their small pile of papers, glancing at Xion. Xion looks at him and then at Ven. Ven arches an eyebrow and Roxas sighs.

“Look, okay, hopefully this is a good weird question. Did you have some kind of weird dream last night?”

Ven blinks at him. “Uh, kinda? Most of my dreams are weird. Like the one where the ice cream eats  _ me _ …”

Roxas’s face goes a bit red and he rubs at his cheek. “Not like that. Like a...a Sora kind of weird. Not even him showing up or anything, just something that felt off, strange.”

“Last night I had a dream about falling through the sky and then the ocean.” Xion twists a finger in her hair. “It sounds normal, but there was this feeling that it was different. Like I was just missing something.”

“Weird,” Roxas adds.

Ven frowns. “Well, it didn’t have anything to do with Sora, but there was this mirror.” He drops his arms. “It was like I was the whole Ventus still and this mirror was showing the me then the me now...me and Vanitas.”

Roxas and Xion trade a look. “Weird,” they repeats and Ven has to laugh. The word’s lost all meaning.

“Yeah, weird. You guys think it means something?”

“Doesn’t it always?” Roxas rocks back on his heels and then sits in the grass with a thump. “Weird stuff is important stuff, is usually Sora stuff with us. Maybe something’s finally reached him.”

Xion nods. “Riku and Kairi have been trying to figure something out, but maybe Sora’s figured it out.” The hope in her voice is shaky and she bites her lip.

Ven looks away. “Maybe…” It seems like a thin straw to grasp, but he wants to. Is it any thinner than mentally trying to tell some scrap of Vanitas shadow to help Sora in a dream? He sighs. “I guess we can keep track if there’s more.” What he wouldn’t give for a real sign, a trail to follow.

Xion pats his shoulder. “Yeah, we should. Have you talked to Riku and Kairi?”

He shakes his head. “What would I say? I don’t have anything to help.” His stomach twists. “I might be part of the reason he’s gone.”  _ We were together for so long, so when I left… _

“Don’t say that,” Roxas snaps. “Sora made his own choice. He wouldn’t blame any of us.” He crosses his arms. “We’ll figure something out if he doesn’t come back first with that stupid smile.” His cheeks are still dusted with red.

Ven shrugs, but sees Xion look between the two of them. She lifts her eyes skyward and then shakes her head slightly. “Exactly. There’s no reason to sit around moping. Come on, we told you we’d show you around the town!” She holds out a hand to each of them.

Roxas takes it and stands, gathering the papers under one arm. “But I like moping. It makes me feel like a real teenager.”

Ven snorts and takes Xion’s hand. He gives it a squeeze and she squeezes back tightly. “You’ve got the weirdest attitude from what Lea tells me,” he says to Roxas.

His not-quite-double makes a face at him. “Axel can shut up.”

Xion leans closer to Ven, not even trying to whisper. “He says Roxas is a nerd because he likes math class.”

“It makes sense! Sorry that he’s dumb!” Roxas grumbles loudly as he starts to walk away, heading back toward town.

Ven laughs and swings his and Xion’s hands before he lets go to fold his arms behind his head again. “Lea is pretty dumb.”

She snorts at him. “Tell him that at dinner. He could use someone else to hear it from.” She jogs after Roxas and Ven brings up the rear, calling Chirithy to join them

He can’t help but think about how much he can’t wait until Sora’s here to be their friend too.


	3. Chapter 3

_ Ba-bump. Ba-bump. Ba-bump. _

_ Ba-bump. _

_ Ba-bump. _

_ Ba-bump. _

It’s so damn loud.

Vanitas grinds his teeth together as Sora’s heartbeat continues to pound against his back. The darkness around them is unbroken and silent, making the heartbeat that much louder. He’s getting sick of it.

There’s no way to tell how long he’s been walking with the body draped over his back. He’s certainly not counting the heartbeats. It feels like several hours at this point. Vanitas slows his steps, looking upward. Nothing breaks the blackness, not even the most distant twinkle. Vanitas scowls.  _ At least the Graveyard had stars between the dust storms. _

“I could be going in fucking circles.” Circling and circling in the dark like an insect trapped in an endless maze, always hoping for escape around the next bend. Fantastic.

Vanitas drops Sora back to the ground. He pushes him flat on his back, not very gently. He can see him breathing, but there’s still no sign of that flicker of light. Vanitas’s eyebrows draw together and he sits beside Sora’s head.

“Is there any of you left? Some little  _ shred _ of self that you’re clinging to to be here?” The words are sharp, cutting as they leave his mouth.  _ He’s _ not clinging to a shred; he’s waiting, been waiting for his whole. A whole that he’s been completely disconnected from. He bites his cheek to keep from screaming.

There must be a solution.

If this is some pointless void meant for the dregs, the remains, why would they be shaped? Why is he aware? There must be something holding them here, some sort of purpose…

His eyes slide back to Sora’s body.

Vanitas leans forward; he puts his weight on one hand right next to Sora’s head. He leans over him and stares, reaching out with all of his senses. What brought the boy here? What brought  _ him _ here?

There are no answers in the unconscious.

Carefully, he puts his other hand to Sora’s chest, palm flat.  _ Thump, thump, thump. _ Vanitas inhales through his teeth and presses down. Darkness bubbles around his fingers.  _ No flicker of light. The barest signs of life. What is left? _ Vanitas presses the darkness into Sora’s body, toward his heart. If there’s no light to guide him, then he’ll use what he knows best.

Sora gasps and jerks upright, hands going to his chest. His eyes are bright and wild, but still entirely blue.

Vanitas sits back, darkness trailing from his fingers. He pulls it back under his skin as he watches Sora and waits.

Sora pants and rubs at his chest, looking around him. His skin is pale and beaded with sweat now. One hand pushes his hair back from his face, the other wraps around the charm on his necklace. His gaze sweeps around the dark and finally lands on Vanitas. Sora blinks and then exhales heavily.

Tipping his head slightly, Vanitas bites back any words and waits for a sign.

The next inhale is less ragged and Sora drops his hands back into his lap. “Vanitas,” he greets, voice the flattest Vanitas has heard it. “Where are we?”

Vanitas shrugs. “Some void of darkness.”

“Yeah, I see that...or don’t really.” Sora looks above them. Vanitas rolls his eyes. “What are you doing here?”

“I don’t  _ know _ . It’s your fault.” Vanitas’s teeth snap and he tightens his hands into fists instead of wrapping them around Sora’s throat.

“My fault?” Sora looks at him in confusion. Now isn’t that a familiar face.

Vanitas growls at him, not willing to be patient this time. “Your stupid little heart connected to Ventus and to  _ me _ . I was supposed to be dead. Instead I’m here. What did you  _ do _ ?”

Sora slips a hand into his pocket and Vanitas sees the flex of his muscles as he grasps something tightly. Sora stares back at him, furious determination in his eyes. It reminds Vanitas of another pair. “What I had to. I’m sorry you’re here, but better than being dead, right?”

_ Naive little fool! _

Vanitas screams wordlessly and punches him in the face. Sora grabs his next swing and rolls them both over. Vanitas knees him the side, but Sora keeps hold of him. He tries to grab at Vanitas’s shoulder, but Vanitas wrenches it away from him, still trying to claw at his face with his held arm. Sora dodges, swinging his head back and forth, still grabbing for Vanitas’s other arm. 

“Vanitas! Vanitas, okay, I don’t know!” Sora is shouting at him and his eyes are panicked. Sick satisfaction curls in his stomach and he gives a breathless laugh. Vanitas wrenches his arm free and pulls back. They’re both breathing hard from the brief struggle and Vanitas smirks at him.

“You don’t know anything. You’re such a spoiled brat.” Vanitas turns and puts his back to him, the bubbling stew of his emotions making it hard to control his face. Whatever this place is, he can’t push them out, can’t make the Unversed. Only darkness is allowed here, darkness and the two of them. Vanitas draws his hands down his face and forces a breath out.  _ Control. Don’t give them anything to use. _

He’s not sure why he can’t call his mask here, but this is really the first time he’s wished for it.

Sora exhales and Vanitas hears him moving. He stays put, stays still, letting the boy think what he wants. Sora can barely comprehend true danger, he’s not going to actually expect anything. Vanitas draws his hand down his face and forces the mess inside him to settle, pressing it down. He still needs Sora to get what he’s after. Even if he has to take drastic measures. Better to start with a simpler approach.

“Vanitas?” Sora isn’t right behind him, but his voice is irritatingly soft.

Vanitas looks over his shoulder, face flat. “What.”

Sora has his arms wrapped around his knees. He drops his head and presses his cheek to his knee. “I’m sorry for...assuming I know anything about you.”

He rolls his eyes. “Great. Whatever.”

Blue eyes, darker than the ones he used to have, disappear for a moment as Sora blinks. They’re back and staring at him, strangely focused. “It’s weird that we can see each other and nothing else.”

“Really.”

“Yeah, don’t you think so? Even in the Realm of Darkness, there was light coming from something. Not just around us.” Sora shrugs without lifting his head. “Maybe I’m just tired.”

“Don’t go back to sleep,” Vanitas orders immediately. “I can’t get fucking anywhere on my own. You have to do something.”

Sora frowns at him. “Like what?”

“I don’t  _ know. _ You’re the one who’s the big hero.” Vanitas hisses it at him.

Sora considers this and then shrugs. “Not really.”

_ Ugh. _ Vanitas faces away from him again. “Whatever. You’ll figure something out, because it’s you.”

“What does that mean?”

Vanitas throws his hands up. “It means you’re the lights’ little golden boy! The hero! The one who saved them all or got really fucking close! They all look to you for  _ hope _ .” He’s spitting the words, furious beyond measure at how fucking stupid he is. How does he not  _ get it? _ Maybe he needs to beat sense into Sora. It worked for him.

Sora doesn’t answer him and Vanitas turns, ready to start smacking him into action. Arms wrapped around his legs, Sora has pressed his face to them, hiding it. His shoulders are shaking and Vanitas just stares at him. What the hell is this? Where’s the stupid smile and all that fucking optimism?

Weakness. A simple, ordinary boy, just as his master said.

Vanitas sighs, loudly, and turns around. “Fine, no fucking heroics. Tell me what happened, what you did.”

Sora mutters at his knees and Vanitas convinces himself to not smack him in the back of the head. He digs his fingers into his leg instead. “Sora. Tell me  _ what happened _ .”

His head jerks up. “You said my name.”

“For all the- I have said your name before.” Vanitas glares at him. 

“Well, yeah, but you usually sneer it.” Sora wipes at his eyes. “That was like...normal.”

“Great, glad I could meet your standard. Get on with it.” Vanitas crosses his arms, determined not to strangle him again until he has more information.

“Sure, yeah.” Sora gives him a shaky smile, like one little thing makes it all okay. “You um remember the fighting, right?”

_ Ventus’s eyes, green now, flashing with hurt and anger and almost understanding. Sora’s shock like electricity humming in his mouth. ‘I didn’t ask for this.’ _

_ ‘Is that what you are?’ _

“Yes,” Vanitas answers shortly. “I remember.”

Sora nods and his fingers fiddle with the crown on his necklace. “After, after that, Riku and the king and I went to take care of Xehanort. We fought his young self, Ansem, and Xemnas and beat them.” He frowns a little and Vanitas sees a point of the crown dig into his finger. “After that, we were going to fight Xehanort, but then he… Xemnas had taken Kairi earlier. She couldn’t hit him, couldn’t get out of his grip. He took her to Xehanort.”

“He summoned these keys, like his, and was talking about all our fights and the war and his stupid campaign. We were just ready to fight him, but then he needed one more key and said that we, that I needed... _ motivation _ .” Sora spits the word and Vanitas’s stomach is a knot that would be easier to cut than untie.

“He had Kairi. He struck her, shattered her like...like glass.” Sora’s voice is cracking. “I was already ready to fight him. I think he just wanted to  _ mock us _ . Your master is a bastard.” His voice breaks and he stops to take a breath.

Vanitas snorts, lips twitching. Anything he can think to say would be too much, so he just waves for Sora to continue. 

Sora shrugs back at him. “He summoned the x-blade, summoned Kingdom Hearts, and was ready to destroy everything. We used a spell to open a gate through him? It was weird, but locked him in place. I went after him as everyone else held off Kingdom Hearts. We found the vessels...and Xehanort. We fought, I won.”

“What?” Vanitas squints at him. “How? He had the x-blade still?”

“Yeah. He was using it, pulled all the light out of me at one point.” Sora gestures to his chest. “It’s not the first time I’ve had something like it happen. I took my light back, Donald and Goofy saved me, and we won. We beat Xehanort and everybody else came through to help close Kingdom Hearts.”

“You need the x-blade to do that.”

Sora looks at him again. “Oh, yeah, Xehanort handed it over before he died. I used that with everybody’s help.”

Vanitas has to blink several times before he can think of what to do with his face. “He, he just-.”

“It was weird. Aqua and Ven’s teacher showed up? And like talked him down and that’s when he handed it over.” Sora shrugs. “They seemed...close.”

Vanitas makes a face.  _ Oh, they were close. _ He’s not thinking about it. “But he gave you the x-blade. You have it.”

“I did? I don’t think I still do. I’ve had my regular keyblade.” Sora holds a hand out and for a second, a heartbeat, light sparkles around his finger. It fades just as quickly. “Guess I don’t have that anymore.”

Great. So, Sora had the most powerful weapon in the whole fucking world and now he doesn’t even have a regular keyblade. Dead weight. Vanitas rubs at his nose, pinching it in the center. “What happened then?” Winning wouldn’t put Sora here.

“It was over.” Sora holds his hands out. “We did it. The only thing missing was...Kairi.”

Vanitas arches an eyebrow. “She didn’t come back?”

Sora shakes his head. “He did something really awful. She didn’t come back, but I couldn’t go home without her. So, I went after her...with the power of waking.”

“That thing you used to wake up Ventus.”

“Yeah. I figured it was the best way to find her as quickly as possible.” Sora rubs the back of his neck. “It um, didn’t go quite right.”

Vanitas stares at him flatly. “No shit,” he says.

Sora gives a surprised little giggle and then covers his mouth. “I found her anyway and then took her home. The last thing I remember is leaving her at home and then falling into the dark.”

Great. He doesn’t know anything about this power of waking or how it’d end up with Sora in some fucking darkness void with him. Vanitas exhales. Sora hugs his knees again, but he seems...fine as he stares upward, reoriented. 

Why couldn’t he just have faded away? Why,  _ why _ did he always keep getting pulled back to this? His master needed him to play a part after his last failure. But now! Sora wasn’t even trying to do it and still he’s here. Vanitas could wrap his fingers around Sora’s neck and take them both out. If the idiot boy hadn’t interfered all those years ago…

If he hadn’t interfered, Ventus would be dead. The thought stops him cold. Ventus would be dead, any chance of getting his body, his self back would be gone. But wasn’t it anyway? Because of Sora, he looked wrong. Because of Sora, he wasn’t Ventus anymore.

Because of  _ Sora _ , they’ve lived.

Vanitas curls his hands into fists. He got a chance to be Ventus again, however brief it was, because Sora saved Ventus. Too bad it didn’t last.

He stands quickly, too fluidly to be human. Sora looks up at him. “Let’s go. I couldn’t get anywhere new hauling you around, but maybe your stupid heart will find us something now that you’re awake.”

Sora looks down and then pushes himself up to his feet. He staggers and then catches himself. “Yeah, let’s go.”

Tsk, pathetic. Vanitas turns and starts walking, listening for Sora’s footsteps behind him. After a moment’s hesitation, Sora catches up to walk beside him.

They’re both silent. Vanitas wraps his fingers around his wrist.

_ Ba-thump. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to write these two, but alas there's a whole other half of the fic to balance. I'm going to do my best to go alternate back and forth each chapter.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My writing energy has been swinging low and I'm tired in general, but have this!

Ven doesn’t have another strange dream the night after he visits Twilight Town. He’s so exhausted from running around town and learning to skateboard and eating way too much food and ice cream to do any more than collapse into bed. The next day is as normal: training in the morning with Aqua and Terra, lunch, cleaning the parts of the castle that need it after the war. He doesn’t dream that night or the next either.

He does wake up to news a few days later or at least, a request for him again.

**Kairi: Hi Ven! Could you come and see us at YS’s Tower today?**

Ven hesitates for a moment. He can’t give them a lead. He’s never been able to actually feel the connections to his heart, not like others could. But, if they just want to talk, if they have some idea... If there’s anything he can do, he’ll do it. 

**Ven: Yeah! I’ll head over right away. Be there in an hour or so!**

Chirithy elects to stay behind this time, but Aqua is also heading to see Master Yen Sid. They wave goodbye to Terra and Chirithy and then they’re off to the Lanes Between. Ven takes the lead, out of excitement and so Aqua can keep an easier eye on him. If it makes her feel better, he’ll do the small things.

It’s a short trip to the Tower, the two of them flying the Lanes in comfortable silence. Aqua spots it first and takes the lead. Some kind of shield shimmers to life as they approach, but when Aqua reaches it, it opens, letting them inside. They land on the soft grass, both of them stretching before they start toward the Tower itself.

Aqua wraps an arm around his shoulders and Ven smiles at her. “Any idea why Kairi would like to see you?”

“Not a single one. Why did you want to come?”

“I wanted to speak to Master Yen Sid about a couple things. I’d like to start preparing to restart keyblade training again. We’ve got so many wielders and they don’t know anything of our history.” Aqua looks up at the stars. “I want them to know.” She touches the apprentice emblem, the one they all wear for home. “But I want to teach it right. I never got the chance to learn everything about being a master or a teacher.”

Ven wraps an arm around her waist and squeezes. “You’ll be great at it anyway.”

She smiles. “Thank you, but I’d like to figure some things out before I really offer. Riku’s already a master, so maybe he’d like to help...once he can.” That he won’t be doing anything else until they know Sora’s fate is common knowledge.

“What about Terra? Is he helping?”

Aqua’s face flickers from gentle affection to something pained. She doesn’t turn from him, doesn’t hide it. “Terra...he needs time. I asked, but he wants to recover before he even starts his own training again. I think he’s still scared of himself.”

Ven squeezes her again. “Yeah...good thing we’ve got time now, huh?”

“A very good thing.” She turns and hugs him properly, arms so strong that she could easily sweep him up off his feet and carry him for miles. Ven hugs her back, not quite as tightly, not quite as strong yet.

He has to pull away first. “Come on, they’re probably waiting for us.” Ven takes her hand and leads the way to the door and the stairs up to the Tower.

He really likes the Tower. It’s magical from its stones to its roof and he likes how friendly it feels. He can touch a hand to a wall and ask for a nice cup of hot chocolate and it’ll be delivered momentarily by one of the brooms. He’s even seen it shift rooms around to make them more comfortable. It’s the  _ best _ and he’s not sure how people live in non-magical places.

The stairs are polite today and lead them right up to Master Yen Sid’s office instead of into a maze like Lea was complaining about last time they were here. Apparently, he and the Tower have some kind of feud involving the gardens or something. Ven has yet to get the details.

Aqua takes the lead as they reach the door and knocks firmly.

“Please, come in.” The door swings open and Aqua leads them in. Master Yen Sid is seated behind his desk as always, hands folded in his lap. He’s such a stately wizard that Ven feels like he should have spent more time washing his face before they left. He kind of hopes he never seems that stuffy when he gets an apprentice.

God, he doesn’t want an apprentice for ages. How can Aqua be ready for it? She’s only a few years older than him. He looks at her, but she’s already bowing to Master Yen Sid. He does the same as she thanks him for giving them some time.

When they straighten, Kairi is already moving over to his side, arms out. It’s a bit awkward, but since she’s come back Kairi has refused to be cowed about showing affection. Ven returns her hug and nods to Riku as Kairi gives Aqua one too.

“Ventus, I believe Riku and Kairi have some things to discuss with you. Feel free to do so somewhere more comfortable while I and Master Aqua have our discussion.”

“Thank you, sir.” The three of them bow and then Kairi leads them back out.

Ven sighs in relief. “He’s nice, but I feel like I’m always on the edge of disappointing him.”

Riku chuckles. “Me too. He made me a master so I really don’t want him to take it back.”

“I don’t think it works that way.” Kairi folds her arms behind her back as they take the stairs down. The staircase is curling the opposite way this time. “He’s just a teacher.”

“He keeps an eye on the balance of light and dark. He’s kind of important.” And he reminds Ven of Master Eraqus. He already disappointed one mentor, he can’t do it to another.

Kairi blows a raspberry and Riku messes up her hair. “He’s a good person, Kai. Even if he’s not always right.”

Ven arches an eyebrow. “Not always right…? He did save us in the Graveyard.”

“Ugh.” Kairi’s nose wrinkles. “Yes, he did, but he didn’t...he didn’t do everything right.”

Riku wraps an arm around her shoulders despite that they’re still climbing down the long staircase. “He’ll have more than earned it by the time he comes back, you know.”

“He already earned it.”

_ Sora. _ Ven presses a hand over his heart. The ache is a phantom, but it’s there. “You mean the mark of mastery.”

They nod and Ven sighs. “Yeah, I’m really hoping Aqua figures out a fairer way to reward it. Terra was kind of cheated, no matter what he says now. Master Yen Sid didn’t give it to Sora?”

“No.” Kairi kicks at the stair. “Because he was the target of the trap and somehow didn’t magically find his way out, he didn’t earn it. It’s total crap, Ven.”

“Yeah, that’s not…fair.” Ven presses his lips together as they finally reach a landing. He stops, not moving toward the door. “I should have been able to help him. I’m sorry that I can’t even do anything now.”

Their feet shuffle, Kairi and Riku turning toward him. He stares down at the floor, hands fisted at his sides. He didn’t know. He didn’t know how much danger Sora was in all the time and he didn’t do anything to help. He might have made things worse, might have been why it was so easy to lure Sora into a trap made of dreams. He was always dreaming and he drug Sora down with him.

Kairi leans down until he has no choice but to see her. “Ven, come on, it’s not your fault.”

“I haven’t helped either.” He squeezes his hands a bit tighter. It’s starting to hurt. “Whatever you guys want to talk about...I can’t help find him.”

“At least let us talk to you first.” Riku’s voice is surprisingly calm. “We never know what might be the clue we need. Come on.” He pushes open the door and leads them into another room, this one supplied with plush couches and some kind of device resting in the center of the room on a table.

Ven sucks in a breath and follows, Kairi coming in behind him. “Have you talked to Roxas and Xion?”

Riku nods, dropping onto a couch with a tired sigh. Kairi settles beside him and he leans into her, arm on the back behind her. “Yeah, but there’s something specific we wanted to talk to you about.”

“Nothing bad, we don’t think. But, you’re really the only one we could ask.”

It’s not too hard to connect the dots. Ven takes the couch across from them, resting his arms on his legs instead of leaning back. “You want to know about our connection.”

“Yep.” Riku nods again. “And about the other boy.”

“Vanitas,” Kairi clarifies. “At least, that’s what Sora said and what Jiminy put into our gummiphones.”

Ventus can feel the tips of his ears go red.  _ Why _ everyone needed to know everything is beyond him, but there was no telling who would fight who… He sighs. “Yeah, that’s Vanitas. Where do you want me to start?”

They both shrug. Ven makes a face at them. “That’s helpful. Okay, well, Vanitas was...he’s the part of my heart that Xehanort broke off in one of his attempts to make the x-blade. Specifically, Xehanort pulled the darkness from my heart, but we’re not static. I’m not all light and I don’t think Vanitas is pure darkness.”

“You said was,” Riku says suddenly. “You switched from was to is.”

“Nerd,” Kairi mutters, but Ven is already nodding.

“When we fought the first time, Vanitas and I were still distinct enough to cause a reaction, to almost make the x-blade.” Ven fiddles with his apprenticeship mark, trying to order his thoughts. “When I clashed with Vanitas, when Sora and Aqua came to wake me up, something felt different. I couldn’t see his face, but there was...something.”

“But in the graveyard, it was almost the same as last time, fighting him, fighting with Aqua. Maybe it’s because his master was trying to make the x-blade a new way, but Vanitas felt...off. Sora said he’d run into him earlier, on another world. I wish we’d had time to talk.” Ven scowls. “Maybe then I’d know, but Vanitas didn’t feel right, and the things he said...Xehanort did something to him.” Ven looks up with a sigh. “It’s all...feelings between us. Nothing’s ever been concrete with him.”

Riku is frowning, thinking about something or maybe trying to decipher Ven’s rambling. Kairi tips her head onto her fist and says, “Huh. Sounds kind of-.”

“Kairi,” Riku interrupts her tiredly. “Don’t.”

She grins. Riku rolls his eyes at her and looks at Ven. “Vanitas came from your darkness, breaking what used to be your guys’ heart.” Ven nods. “Sora’s heart patched yours over to save you and you recovered. So, what does that mean for the piece Vanitas has?”

Ven blinks. “Oh, right, you weren’t there. Sora’s connection with me is also a connection with Vanitas. Vanitas has Sora’s face, but slightly different.”

They both stare at him. Ven scratches at his cheek awkwardly. “Guess that kind of...didn’t come up. Vanitas, I don’t know what he used to look like, but when I fought him he had Sora’s face. His hair’s a dark black and his eyes are gold; he’s slightly thinner too, I guess?”

Kairi shakes her head. “Like Sora…”

“What did you think when you actually met Sora?” Riku is looking at him in shock. 

Ven laughs, but it’s a bit rough. “Honestly? He scared the crap out of me. I thought Vanitas had...well, you know. He held out his hand and I had to make myself basically restart. That was the first time I realized that the boy who took my heart in after our fight and the one who helped me years before were the same person. My second chance…”  _ Vanitas’s too even if he won’t admit it. _

_ You define me. _

He frowns.

“So, if Sora is connected to you  _ and _ Vanitas to the point where Vanitas looks like him…” Kairi trails off, looking up at Riku. Riku shrugs.

Ven leans forward again, reaching out to run a finger along the sphere of the device between them. “Yeah, wherever Sora is, Vanitas might be with him. The other night I had this weird dream; Roxas and Xion said they did too. It wasn’t anything concrete, but we’re wondering if...something’s happened.” They look worried so he rushes to continue. “Sora’s not gone, it wasn’t anything like that! But, something might have happened.”

“Do you think it was Vanitas?”

He shakes his head. “No, why would that affect Xion and Roxas?”

“Fair point,” Riku says with a nod.

Kairi frowns. “Weird dreams, Vanitas connected to both of you...I wonder if there’s a way to use that connection. Ven, can you feel Vanitas?”

“No, not really. He was always the one who felt what I was feeling.” Ven wishes he could, if only to find him now and get some damn answers. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay! We’ll figure it out somehow.”

Riku is rubbing his chin. “...Yeah,” he answers belatedly. “We’ll figure something out. Guess we need to look around some more before we try something stupid.”

Kairi snorts. “Good to know that that’s still the plan.”

“Isn’t it always?” Ven grins at them. “If you guys aren’t busy, do you want to spar? I haven’t gotten to see Kairi in action.”

She grins at him. “Oh, you’ve got no idea what you’re about to face. Come on, Riku! We can give our combination attacks another go.”

“We can’t kill him, Kairi. Aqua would murder us.” But Riku is standing and taking her hand. Ven bounces to his feet and lets them lead the way back to the stairs.

He glances over his shoulder and sees that the device in the center of the table is on. The sphere of it swirls with dense grey fog and then it’s gone, hidden by the closed door. Ven frowns at the door, but follows Riku and Kairi down the stairs. The device probably just took a long time to start up from his touching it. He’s got real investigating of his own to do.


	5. Chapter 5

This dark void is so complete, so endless. It’s starkly different from the Graveyard; there were spires and cliffs there, that broke up the skyline and turned colors at daybreak and sunset, that turned into looming shapes at night. This place is black, flat black in every direction with no wind to howl through the void.

He didn’t realize how used to the silence he was until it was broken so thoroughly.

Sora gasps for what seems like the third time in a minute and Vanitas stops walking. Sora stumbles a step further and then stops, looking at Vanitas. “Wh-.”

“Are you dying?” Vanitas snaps. “You’re gasping like your ribs are broken, your lung is punctured, and you’re about to wheeze your last damn breath. If you’re not, could you have some fucking control over yourself?”

Sora stares at him and then shifts. “Actually…”

Vanitas exhales loudly when he doesn’t continue. “What. The sooner you tell me, the sooner we can fucking deal with it and keep going.”

Blue eyes size him up and Vanitas arches an eyebrow. Sora has every reason to doubt him, but Vanitas needs him, probably, so it’s in his best interest to keep Sora functioning. He won’t be nice about it, but the kid shouldn’t expect it. Sora grimaces and looks down at himself. “It feels like a broken rib.”

“So cast cure.”

“I can only channel strong magic through my keyblade. Without it…” Sora shrugs. “I usually rely on potions.”

Which neither of them have. Grumbling, Vanitas considers their limited options. He doubts he can shove more of his darkness into Sora and fix it. Darkness usually doesn’t fix things; it might rot him from the inside out. He taps his fingers on his arm and looks around. It would be nice to even have an environment to make use of. He blows a chunk of hair out of his eyes and then lifts a hand.

The darkness here moves like thick clay; he can shape it, but it takes some work. He pulls enough of it up to make a platform and then pushes at Sora’s shoulder. “Sit.” Sora does, hand pressed to his side. Vanitas taps his foot and looks around them again. There’s no way something will hold together and there’s still the unknown of this place. He can’t just make up a dressing.

Fantastic.

Vanitas eyes Sora’s clothes. “What’s under the jacket?”

“Uhhh, my shirt?”

“Great, take it off.”

That gets him squinted at. “You’re being weird.”

Vanitas growls through his teeth and shoves his face into Sora’s. “Either give me the jacket to wrap your damn ribs, or continue wheezing like a dying frog as bone shards stab you. I’m not picky.”

“Just say that, geez.” Sora sticks his tongue out at him and then shrugs out of the jacket. He tosses it at Vanitas’s face and then winces, hand going back to his side.

Snatching the jacket out of the air, Vanitas rubs it between his fingers. It’s not very stiff, but if he folds it, it might help some. Vanitas arches an eyebrow. He actually hasn’t tried any magic, but he knows  _ his _ keyblade comes to his call. He folds the jacket into a neat pad and then bends down at Sora’s side. “Move your hand. Hold this instead.” Sora does as ordered with no complaints and no chatter.

Vanitas half-turns and grabs his skirt. With a yank, he rips a whole strip of it off. He rips that in two and then bends down again. Sora shifts his arm out of the way, putting the pieces together, and Vanitas wraps one strip of fabric around his chest. He knots it tight, holding the pad of fabric against Sora’s side. He starts on the second, grumbling as he realizes it’s a bit too short to be tied. He tosses it away and then rips a longer one to secure the pad in place. He gives each tie a tug to make sure they’re firm and then stands.

“Make sure it’s not going to shift as you move.” Vanitas pulls at the darkness around them, intent on dragging it into himself, but it refuses to budge now. He scowls.

Sora stands and moves in a circle, moving his arm in exaggerated motions. “It’s good. Thanks, Vanitas.”

He scoffs. “I need you to move. This is for me.”

“But it helps  _ me _ ,” Sora argues and then grins at him. “So thanks.”

Vanitas can feel his face get hot and turns before what must be anger convinces him to punch Sora in the face again. “Shut up. Let’s keep going.” He starts walking again and a moment later, Sora is back at his side. His breathing is still strained, but he’s no longer gasping.

An improvement.

A shame and a frustration that nothing else looks that way. Vanitas has walked in darkness a lot. He remembers in pieces, those years where he was almost nothing, almost no one. It was always dark, always empty. He’s not sure why he was there, what held the shards of him together while Ventus was safe with  _ Sora _ , but he remembers the dark.

The dark now is still the same: flat, unending, with the only light coming strangely from the two of them. The emptiness thrums at his senses, a buzz that continues like a line with no feedback. It’s like being in a box that has no findable walls. He wants to find one to break, to smash it to bits and pieces so he can get somewhere and be done with all of this.  _ If Sora could call his keyblade, this would be over… _

Vanitas clenches his fingers and Void Gear comes to answer his call. Sora jumps and wisely moves a step away. “What are you doing?”

He lifts his keyblade, stares down at it. The eyes seem to glow even more here. Gritting his teeth, Vanitas lifts it over his head, his ready stance.

Sparks flare around Sora’s fingers, but they die quickly. “Vanitas…”

Vanitas pushes the anger, the fury into his arm, into his keyblade and fire shoots down it, curling over the end until it’s super heated. The darkness swirling at its heart turns the flames purple and then he hurls it in front of them. It shoots through the darkness, lighting up the ground, but it reveals nothing.

It disappears and Vanitas can feel how it ran out of fuel rather than striking anything. He hisses through his teeth and lowers the blade to his side.

Sora clears his throat. “So…”

“There’s no end to this place. It didn’t hit  _ anything _ . What the hell are we supposed to do?!” Vanitas throws his keyblade next, no neat strike raid but a fury that he’s sick of keeping under his skin. Void Gear skids over the ground, glowing with its own strange light a short distance from them.

“We keep going. Everything has an end. Even the nothingness Xemnas put us in led us to that beach.” Sora shrugs as Vanitas’s head whips around to look at him. “And then we found a way out from there.”

“How?! You’re always pulling this shit. How is this the one time you can’t just wave your damn hand and open a door?” He wants out, he  _ needs _ out. Plodding forever through the dark with Sora is more than he was made to bear and he won’t  _ do it. _ He was supposed to be done!

Sora holds a hand up, palm held toward him. “I don’t  _ know _ , okay? I just believed but apparently that’s not good enough anymore...It certainly wasn’t for Xehanort.” His face twists and Vanitas can see the flash of gold in his eyes. “No, I’m never good enough so he had to kill Kairi!”

Vanitas throws his hands up, his rage still simmering under his skin. “Who gives a fuck? You got her back too!”

“I pulled myself apart to do it!” Sora screams the words at him and then slams his mouth shut.

Vanitas blinks.

Sora shudders with his next inhale and then drops into a crouch, fingers clenching in his hair. “I...I could feel it, but I had to because it was my fault she died. What do I matter as long as they’re safe?”

Gold eyes flick to the darkness and then back to Sora. “How should I know? I don’t have friends, as Ventus reminded me.”

Sora doesn’t lift his head. He coughs something that could almost be a choked laugh. “Mine are better off without me. I’m useless without them, always dragging them down, making bad things happen to them again and again.”

“That’s self-centered. My master didn’t give you a second thought. He had way more important plans for the universe. It was never about  _ you _ .” As if in response to Sora’s obvious tension and high emotions, Vanitas forces himself to be calm and cold again. He squeezes his hand shut and Void Gear disappears from the ground. “You just had the bad luck of being the only keyblade bearer around when his stupid Heartless and Nobody got to fucking around. That’s luck, not some fucking cosmic destiny.  _ I _ have an actual destiny.”

“Do you...really think so?” Sora drops his hands, but stares down at them.

Vanitas rolls his eyes. “Look, nobody planned for your dumb heart to save Ventus. Nobody planned for you to get the keyblade. I know Terra’s stupid noble side passed it to your friend. And Aqua’s such a baby that I’m sure she was being all protective of you or whatever. Blame yourself for your stupidity, but you are not the reason my master went through with his plans. You’re a fucking idiot.”

Sora looks up at him, blinking something that looks like tears away. “...That’s a really terrible way to think about it, but it kind of makes me feel better. You could do less insulting of everybody you know, you know? If you actually want to make friends.”

“Ew,” Vanitas says flatly. “No, I’d rather die.”  _ Friends are a weakness. _

“Oh come on, what’s having a friend ever done to hurt you?” Sora pushes himself back upright, his fingers digging into his side. He stumbles and Vanitas grabs his arm without a thought to make sure he doesn’t land on his face. He yanks his arm back before Sora can say something about it.

Flexing his fingers, Vanitas looks into the dark. “Nothing. But it’s never done me any good either.” Hoping for some sort of affection? What a waste of time. “This isn’t me. I’m not me, not yet. That’s all that matters.”

“What do you mean?” Sora starts walking this time and Vanitas follows.

“Do you ever listen?” Vanitas asks tiredly. “I’m  _ Ventus. _ ”

“You’re Vanitas.”

“Only because of my master. I’m supposed to be Ventus.”

“But now you’re not. You’re yourself.” Sora arches an eyebrow. “Vanitas, why don’t you want to be yourself?”

It’s such a stupid question. It should make him angry, but as he stares at the unending darkness they’re still walking through, he only feels empty. “Because I’m not a person,” he answers shortly. “I’m darkness.”

Sora scoffs at him and Vanitas turns and swings. Sora catches his wrist and squeezes it. His eyes are such a bright, bright blue in the dark. “I don’t know you, Vanitas. I don’t! But that sounds like a load of crap!”

“It’s the  _ truth _ .” Vanitas yanks on his arm, but Sora keeps a tight hold. “His shadow and yours. That’s it!”

“Who told you that?”

“I didn’t have to be told, you moron. I know what I am.”

Sora stares at him, eyes burning blue fire in his face. “Maybe you don’t know yourself as well as you think you do. You keep thinking you’re just a piece of Ventus.”

Vanitas lifts a leg and kicks him in the shin. Sora lets go and rubs at it; Vanitas considers smacking him, but steps away instead. Sometimes, brute force doesn’t work with people. It’s easiest, but it’s not what moved the pieces into place eleven years ago. He tugs at his hair until it hurts and then exhales harshly. If he could just shove all this into an Unversed and send it somewhere else…

He can’t. For some reason, this darkness is thicker than what he knows; it keeps his negativity, his emotions under his skin. Vanitas shoves it down instead, deeper to where it’s not boiling just under his skin.

“I thought Roxas was the angriest person I’d ever met,” Sora mutters. “Can you stop kicking me please? Your boots hurt.”

“Stop doing things that make me want to.”

Sora is looking at him and Vanitas knows if he turns to look back, he’ll definitely want to punch him. Sora exhales, exasperated, and Vanitas smirks. It’s not like needling Ventus, enraging him until he’s actually ready for their clash. Popping Sora’s cheerful bubble results in more muttering. It’s almost fun.

Before he can enjoy it too much, Sora grabs his arm again. “Hey!” Vanitas shouts, trying to yank away.

“No, look!” Sora points ahead of them and Vanitas squints. 

“What? There’s nothing there.”

“You don’t see it? The ground is rising. I think...it might be stairs?” Sora’s finger traces a path up and just barely Vanitas can see a faint sliver of light in the distance. Sora yanks him forward, but they’re both running, shoes pounding against the dark ground. It rises under them slightly, just barely enough to be felt. Despite the broken rib, Sora’s slightly ahead of him and the light grows around him.

No, not around Sora. They come to a stop, panting, as they look at stairs that climb upwards. They’re mostly black, but cracked with spiderwebs that glow with hints of color. “Wow,” Sora whispers. “Where do you think they go?”

Vanitas shakes his head. For some reason, he looks back over his shoulder at the pure darkness. He could stay here in the nothing and really fade away. If there’s nothing to hold onto, surely he’ll become a part of the shadows here, waiting to be shaped by something else.

“Vanitas.” Sora nudges his shoulder. “Come on. Let’s see where it goes!” He climbs onto the first stair and then the second. He’s three, four up when he looks back. Sora’s eyes look brighter with the light, but his shadows look darker too. He probably won’t make it on his own.

And Sora owes him now, so it’ll be a quicker end.

He jumps the first step and hates how Sora grins at him. It doesn’t  _ mean _ anything. He glares at him. “Go. If you fall on me, I’ll toss you back to the ground.”

Sora just grins wider. “I’m so relieved to find something that I bet I could just fly back up!” He starts climbing.

Vanitas, lost to his damn meaning, shakes his head and follows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They're getting along great, especially Vanitas. Back to Ven next time!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know making an outline helps you know where you want to go with a fic? Shocking!  
Anyway, this is back on track lol

“High block!”

“Low block!”

“High block!”

“My arms are going to fall off!”

Ven bites back a grin as Aqua gently taps Xion on the top of her head. “Do you need a break? Repetition is the best way to improve your muscle memory, but I don’t want anyone to tear anything.” Xion makes a face and then gestures to her upper arm.

The Land of Departure still isn’t a training ground for keyblade wielders again, but Aqua could hardly say no when Ven brought Xion and Roxas to their usual afternoon training session. He thought it would be a good test run for her. Roxas and Xion are strong, they’re curious, and they’re not the types to argue with Aqua about drills. Ven didn’t ask Lea; he’s already heard about his attitude and how much stern people give him ‘a rash.’ Water and fire, they just don’t mix.

Xion has both arms stretched out, practice sword stabbed into the ground at her feet, and Aqua is going over the muscles of her shoulders and upper arms to make sure there’s no serious issue. Ven puts his practice sword down and starts to carefully stretch his arms out, taking advantage of the break. He glances at Roxas on his other side, but Roxas isn’t looking at any of them.

There’s been no new dream with that same sense for any of them, but still, Roxas has seemed off today. Ven lowers his arms and takes a step closer to his twin. “Roxas?” There’s no immediate response, Roxas staring out at nothing with a slight frown on his face. “Roxas?” Ven touches his shoulder and Roxas jumps.

He steps back, but Roxas just looks at him in surprise. “What’s up?”

“Are you okay? You seem kind of out of it.” Ven lifts an eyebrow. “I know I’m the last person to talk about staying in the present, but…”

Roxas chuckles. “Yeah, you are. But it’s hard not to zone out doing all this.”

“The point is to make it all instinct.” Ven smiles at him, but it flickers away. “You okay?”

Roxas’s nose wrinkles. “I’m fine, other than I couldn’t sleep last night. There was this weird feeling like everything was so loud, you know? Like I could hear every time I turned over and the blankets were loud or when someone got up to get a drink at like two am. It was weird.”

“It sounds kind of like insomnia.” Ventus picks up his practice sword and taps it against his shoulder. “Has it happened before?”

“No, it hasn’t. Not even when stuff was all going wrong with me and Xion in the Organization; it was never like this.” Roxas stares up at the sky again. Ven stays quiet, glancing toward Xion and Aqua, and then back to Roxas. It only takes a minute and Roxas seems to have zoned out again. Ven watches him, waiting for him to either shake it off or faint. Neither happens; Aqua claps her hands and calls them back to attention. Roxas shakes his head and focuses on her like nothing’s wrong, but Ven bites his lip.

Maybe he’s too suspicious after everything that’s happened, but it feels wrong to let anything suddenly strange go. It might mean something...and really, if it is normal weirdness, well, better to be sure, right?

Ven follows Aqua’s calls for different blocks automatically, turning over just how he’d find out if Roxas’s issues are connected to anything else.

* * *

Terra has a picnic basket full of lunch that he brings out to them once Aqua has put them through their paces. She seems pleased with the work and the teaching, but it doesn’t compare to how her face lights up to see Terra walking down from the castle with a big basket over one arm and a blanket over the other. Ven grins as she jogs up the hill to help him carry things.

“Gross,” Xion says, not loud enough to carry to the two of them. “That’s sappy.”

Ven shrugs. “I’m glad they finally admitted they like each other.”

“Did they?” Roxas covers a yawn. 

“You can’t get much clearer than ‘you never stopped lighting my way back,’ okay?” Ven folds his hands behind his head, only noticing once he’s done it that Roxas is doing the same thing. They make a face at each other, but neither of them drops their arms. “Honestly, it’s nice to have them happy. Things are slowly getting better.”

Xion nods and then turns a cartwheel. “Getting there,” she agrees. She dusts the dirt off her hands and looks at Aqua and Terra. “He’s a good cook, right? I’m spoiled living with Axel.”

Ven lifts an eyebrow. “Terra’s good. He’s no gourmet, but he’s good. There’s probably sandwiches in the basket if you dare to go get it.”

She grins. “Nothing stops me.” She strides over to them with a smile and her hands out. Terra and Aqua smile back and move toward them.

“Man, I wish I could still play up the cute face that much.” Ven shakes his head and looks at Roxas. “Ready to eat?”

Roxas is staring at the horizon again, frowning harder this time. His arms drop down and he rubs at them, like he’s cold. Ven drops his and reaches out. “Roxas?” He hesitates before touching him. It doesn’t break Roxas out of it this time. Ven takes his arm and rubs it a little. “Roxas, hey!”

Roxas’s exhale is a cloud in the air and his eyes are far distant. Ven looks over his shoulder, starting to panic, but the others are talking and don’t notice. He mutters a swear and grabs both of Roxas’s arm. He rubs them harder. “Roxas!”

“Whoa!” Roxas jerks back to himself and almost trips backwards. Only Ven’s grip keeps him from falling. “Ven? What the heck?”

Goosebumps cover Roxas’s arms under his hands and Ven retracts them slowly. “It’s like you were somewhere else, somewhere cold. What was that?”

Roxas rubs at his arms and then his eyes. “I...I don’t know. Xion was going to get the basket and then it was just…” His gaze slides away and then snaps back to Ven. “Something was calling to me, trying to get me to....I don’t know.” He shakes his head.

Ven bites his lip.  _ Calling Roxas, calling Roxas somewhere cold? What would that be? Someone connected to him... _

_ A tall dark mirror with only a flicker of bright blue light. _

“Sora?” he says softly.

Roxas looks at him sharply. “What about him?”

Ven shifts in place. The others are almost here and he doesn’t want to ruin their lunch, not when he’s only guessing. He leans closer, grabbing Roxas’s arm. “Call me later. I don’t want to upset anybody right now.”

“You’re kind of upsetting me,” Roxas mutters, but he nods. Ven gives him a tight smile and then pivots. The cheerfulness is easy to pull from nowhere after months of practice.

“Terra, you better not have put tomatoes on all of them!”

Terra laughs. “I don’t want to set your allergies off, Ven. Don’t worry. There’s a whole stack without tomatoes.”

“Even though they are arguably the best of vegetables.” Aqua unfolds the picnic blanket and Ven helps her spread it out.

“Axel says they’re a fruit.” Roxas’s expression says that this was not an idle comment, but an argument that probably took up a good ten minutes. Xion just pulls a face and sits down to help Terra sort out the food.

It’s normal, everything’s fine, and if Ven pays more attention to Roxas than normal over lunch than no one seems to notice. After, Terra and Aqua take everything inside to clean up while Ven walks Roxas and Xion to the gate. Xion makes comments about long soaks for her poor arms and Ven laughs and tells her to be glad she’s not flying home on her arms. Her slug is hard enough that he feels like he’s got a bruise already forming, but it’s worth it.

Roxas gives him a look and then they go.

It takes two hours for his phone to ring and by then, Ven thinks he’s got his thoughts in enough of a line to explain himself. Lying flat on his back on his bed, he holds his phone above him. Roxas is up on the roof, back to the sunset and wind tugging at his hair. Roxas pushes it back out of his eyes and then arches an eyebrow.

Ven doesn’t need him to ask. “You’re Sora’s other. My connection to Sora is weird and intense, but you’re  _ literally _ his other. If his heart is calling out from wherever he is, it’d call to you first and strongest, right?”

Both of Roxas’s eyebrows go up and he looks past the phone. “I...guess? It’s not like we really spent a lot of time together. And I’m not his body anymore; I’m in a replica.”

“Yeah, but you’re still connected. Can’t you feel it?”

“Didn’t you say that you never felt Vanitas?” Roxas frowns at him. “He’s the other part of your heart and you never felt him.”

Ven flushes and his voice comes out a bit hot. “Because Vanitas felt it for both of us,” he snaps. He almost immediately feels bad and scratches at his head. “We’re different,” he says, softer. “It’s just that if there’s something calling out to you...and you seemed cold...We know Sora’s nowhere in the Realm of Light. We would have found him by now. It just seems like he’s somewhere dark and reaching out to you. Probably not purposefully, but he’s always had strong connections with everyone.”

Roxas slumps, head dropping toward his shoulder; his eyes slide away from the phone display. “Yeah, I know you’re right. I was hoping my days of...being a Sora sounding board would be over.” Ven can see the way Roxas’s throat works after forcing the words out. Roxas knows it would sound bad to say to it to Sora’s friends, that it makes him selfish.

Ven’s never known what it feels like to be told that you’re no better than a shell of someone else. He shakes his head. “Yeah, and I’m sure Sora wants it too. At least you know this time that it helps him without making you disappear?” Ven’s voice rises not quite to a crack.

Roxas’s laugh is a bark. “Yeah, true. I would really like to actually  _ talk _ to him sometime.” He tips his head back with a groan. He lifts it back up to meet Ven’s eyes. “Okay, say it’s Sora reaching out to me. What can we do with that? Yen Sid told Riku and Kairi that if they tried to search the Realm of Darkness for Sora, he’d take their keyblades away.”

Ven winces. “He’s trying to protect them from being reckless, but ouch.” He taps his fingers on the back of his phone. “I wonder if you could really follow that call. We should meet up and figure it out. And let Lea know to keep an eye on you so you don’t go disappearing next.” He tries to do his best impression of Aqua’s stern expression, but Roxas rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m going to tell Xion what you’re thinking too. She’s almost connected to Sora like I am.” Roxas’s face goes shadowed as he shifts, the sunset flaring around his head. Ven looks out his window, but the sun is still high. Time is so strange between the worlds.

_ The bells clang and he knows that this is it. _

“Ah,” Roxas says. “That’s the clocktower. I gotta go, Ven. I’ll catch up with you later, yeah? Let me know what we’re doing next, when we’re meeting, whatever you plan.” He waves and the call ends before Ven can clear the bells from his mind.

He lowers the phone to his chest and looks at his ceiling with its faded old glow-in-the-dark stars that were stuck up years ago.  _ What was it? The bells weren’t Twilight Town’s…were they? _ Ven sighs and forces himself up out of bed. He’s got chores and things to do before he muddles around with trying to find someone lost in some void they’re not even sure about.

Still, he remembers the mirror from his dream, he and Vanitas on each broken side. ‘ _ He felt it for both of us.’ ‘They are what I feel - a hoard of fledgling emotions under my control.’ _ Even the thought makes Ven flinch. Maybe the nothingness inside him in those early days was better after all. Maybe feelings aren’t what they’re all cracked up to be as they eat you from the inside out.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I took last month to have a ball with VanVen week and holiday things, but dang is it good to be back to my pseudo-canon. Re:Mind is a'coming and I'm so ready for it.
> 
> Enjoy this chapter and I hope your holidays were well!

Climbing up the stairs, there’s a very strange sense of being suspended in space. There’s nothing around them, nothing but the black. If they slip, they could plunge through all that nothing to disappear for good. The edges of the stairs blur into the darkness, nigh indistinguishable. Only the cracks, flickering with light, give any kind of indication of safe footing. 

Sora practically dances up them like he barely needs to worry about the fall. Vanitas finds himself very slightly impressed, even if the kid has some kind of strange belief that he can fly. He places his feet only a tad more carefully than Sora does, used to flitting along the edges of the cliffs and watching the open air. The darkness gives a strange illusion of safety too: they don’t know for certain how far away the ground is.

Watching Sora skip up another two stairs, Vanitas can just barely see the light in the cracks of the stone. As Sora makes contact, it’s like the light in them fades in the face of the light they’re both still giving off. When he looks at his own feet, the steps look exactly the same, neither brighter nor darker. Whatever the hell that means.

They’ve been climbing for what feels like a solid hour, always going up and curving slightly right. The stairs disappear quickly into the dark, so even when Vanitas looks behind them, he can only see a couple of stairs and then nothing beyond. Looking up reveals nothing either, not even a brightening of the sky. Wherever they’re climbing towards is no brighter than the dark they’ve left behind. How comforting.

_ Better than the burning light that scoured him from the inside out.  _

_ Better than the look in Ventus’s eyes from far above as his everything slipped from his grasp. _

Vanitas twitches, chasing off the crawl over his skin that’s so like an insect. Sora has paused, several steps ahead, squinting off into the dark. He’s tense, the muscles of his arms standing out as he squeezes his hands into fists.

With a twist of his hand, Void Gear comes to him. Vanitas pulls himself up next to Sora in a blink, keyblade ready. His other hand grabs the back of Sora’s shirt as he jerks in surprise and almost tumbles off the step. “Vanitas!”

“What is it?” Vanitas scans their surroundings, but nothing stands out. Sora must have some kind of sense for things; he spotted the stairs first.

Sora shivers and doesn’t pull away from Vanitas’s grip on his shirt. His left hand drops to the wrap around his ribs as he looks forward. His chin tips slightly up and Vanitas mimics the angle. It still doesn’t look like anything, but Sora doesn’t need another nudge. He lifts his free hand and draws a line in the air. “It’s like...there’s a floor above us. I think we’re almost to something.”

“How the hell can you see that?”

Sora shrugs. “There isn’t really a sky here, but it looks flatter. Look over there. You can almost see the edge, right?” He points further out, maybe a good fifteen feet, and Vanitas squints. For all the things his  _ master _ gifted him, the gold in his eyes makes his vision no sharper. He blinks and makes his eyes focus on the point Sora has directed him towards. It’s vague, but after a long moment, he can see the slightest crack in the air, a lip of something that has the same light as the stairs under their feet. 

“Not bad,” he mutters. Sora grins at him; Vanitas moves past him before he can add in an obnoxious comment. It wasn’t even for Sora. It was for the floor existing at all, for the two of them getting somewhere. Vanitas clenches his hand around Void Gear and sprints up the stairs. He can hear the thump of Sora’s steps behind him, both of them fresh with energy at the prospect of something more.

The floor, if that’s what it actually is, is much easier to see as Vanitas climbs. It spreads out in front of them, cracked all through like the stairs in sparking white and grey. Vanitas pauses at the top of the stairs, seeing the floor extend away from him until it’s broken up by dark black shapes. Sora is breathing hard behind him, but waits as quietly as he can. Vanitas reaches out with Void Gear and taps the ground. It doesn’t shift, the cracks don’t spread. He hefts his keyblade higher and then brings it down as hard as he can.

It bounces off the ground like he’s struck solid stone and his hand stings with the rebound. The cracks stay the same and he rubs his hand. “It’s solid.”

“Weird,” Sora pants. “Do you think anything’s here? Those could be buildings.”

Vanitas thought the broken black shapes looked more like spires and cliffs, but he doesn’t argue. He steps forward, watching the ground. It still doesn’t dim or glow underneath him. Maybe he’s finally a real ghost. The sting in his hand is too solid for a phantom and he shoves the fantastical out of his mind. “Whatever this is...it’s something.”

Sora coughs to cover what sounds like a laugh at him. Vanitas turns, glaring, and Sora smiles weakly at him. “It’s a place?”

He could so easily throw Sora into the void. It would be so nice. Vanitas clenches his hands into fists and moves away from temptation. Sora follows at a slight distance, his breathing growing quieter as they approach the first large dark shape. Vanitas lifts a hand and with a scowl calls his keyblade back. He lights the end with an angry thought, flames flickering over the gears. Holding it up like the worlds’ stupidest torch, he tries to make out anything in the shape.

It’s clearly something broken, the plane in front of them cracked into uneven pieces. When Vanitas brushes a gloved hand over it, it’s cold and hard, more stone. “Is it all the same?”

Sora reaches out and touches the stone shape too. He frowns as he rubs his fingers over it; with one he starts to follow the line of something. “Stone...a graveyard?”

Vanitas shakes his head. “No, the stone there is different. It crumbles and doesn’t break into smooth pieces.”

“No, not  _ that _ graveyard. A regular one, like where things have been left to rest.” Sora traces another line. “This reminds me of the buildings, the city that Xemnas fought Riku and I in. See, it could almost be carved here.”

There is only  _ the _ graveyard. It’s the final resting place, the final meeting place for all things. Sora has no idea what he’s talking about. Vanitas shakes his head and raps his knuckles against the stone. It doesn’t give any more than the ground does despite the breaks. Frowning, he considers bashing it with his keyblade. Everything breaks under his hands eventually.  _ Even Ventus, even Aqua did. _

Sora stiffens and whips around to look behind them. Light sparkles at his fingers, but it dims into darkness that curls around them instead. Sora shakes his hand and it disappears. Vanitas lets the fire spell stop, letting their eyes adjust back to the near-dark. “What,” he asks quietly.

“Felt something,” Sora whispers back. “It felt like someone watching us.”

A smirk grows on Vanitas’s face. “It wants to hide in the dark? Wrong game to play with me.” He tugs at the darkness around him, checking its resistance. It moves sluggishly, but warms under his command. His keyblade vanishes and he lets the darkness pool at his feet. “Don’t let it get you.” 

Sora glances at him and Vanitas drops into the shadows. Sora’s sound of surprise is quickly muffled as he glances around again. His gaze lands on nothing specific, so Vanitas spreads his senses out.

Like this, he  _ is _ darkness, a piece that can move within the mass of shadows, but connected to them distantly. He can feel how thick and cold they are here. This is a timeless darkness, something old and far from any sort of light. What kind of place has Sora drawn him to? If there is a way out...it will be hard to find. These shadows do not even know of light; they simply cover everything in the dark.

Still, they warm a bit under his touch and he can feel the flicker of something darting between the columns. Vanitas darts after it. It’s quick, jerking from place to place, but he is  _ efficient _ , a thing made to destroy and be destroyed. Vanitas pulls himself from the shadows, feeling how they cling to his arms and feet. He summons Void Gear and fire and blasts a wave of it in front of him. It burns the clinging tendrils from his limbs and illuminates gold eyes just before they disappear around yet another broken stone.

Grinding his teeth, Vanitas lunges after it. It’s not big, the eyes only appearing about two feet from the ground, but size is no determination of strength or skill. Its path seem random as it jerks further away from him, but Vanitas doesn’t know this place to know if he’s being led into a trap. He leaps forward, intent on crushing it beneath his feet. If he could call the Unversed, he’d already have them after it; his aggression, his frustration reaching with claws to pin this thing that thinks it can escape him.

But he can only rely on himself now. His boots hit the ground, the gold-eyed thing jerking to safety. It melts into the ground and Vanitas hisses through his teeth as it moves  _ much _ faster than before. He tracks its path and can just see Sora stepping out from behind a stone cliff, eyes scanning for the threat or Vanitas.

Vanitas throws fire and lightning, but it’s rushed and sloppy: he knows better after his training. Sora looks up at the sudden light, blind to the thing already rising at his feet. “Look down!” Vanitas shouts at him, but it feels like the air has swallowed his voice. Sora looks at him in confusion and then goes down as claws slash at his legs. He lands on his hands and knees and claws reach for his face.

Vanitas dives into the darkness around them, finds its tendrils around Sora, and yanks it away from him. He pops back to the surface, gasping, but with a clawed hand in his grip. The tendrils of darkness tighten on him, but he shoves them off and away. It can keep the cold, not him. Vanitas keeps hold of the creature as he approaches Sora. Mostly unharmed, Sora gets quickly to his feet. “Where did a  _ Shadow _ come from?” He’s shocked and Vanitas looks down at the creature he’s captured.

It is a Shadow Heartless, one of the unmarked ones that makes it a true pureblood Heartless. It tries to claw at his arm, but it can’t get through his suit and Vanitas shakes it in annoyance. “We’re in the dark,” he answers Sora. “Why be surprised?”

“Because this isn’t the Realm of Darkness and we haven’t seen any of them yet?” Sora peers closer, one hand held up in case he needs to protect his eyes again. “How did you get...here.” His voice goes very quiet at the end and his hand moves slowly to reach out. The shadow claws his hand, opening a new gash. Vanitas yanks it back out of reach.

“Are you an idiot?” Vanitas gives the shadow a shake to remind it that  _ he _ is in charge here. “Don’t hold your hand out to it.”

Sora’s eyes are dull in his face and he offers both hands this time. Vanitas considers kicking him away, but then his voice comes out, as dull as his eyes. “It’s me.”

“What?” Vanitas frowns at him. “You’re you. Somehow, despite everything else, you are fucking Sora and nobody else.”

“And that’s me.” Sora still has his hands out and now the shadow is reaching back toward him with its free claws. 

Vanitas looks between them. ...Well, it’s not like he can’t kill a shadow before it rips Sora’s heart out. He holds it out and then drops it into Sora’s hands. Surprisingly, it doesn’t immediately attack him. It twitches in his grip and then stares up at him. Sora adjusts his hold on it and then pulls it to his chest in a very strange hug.

The Heartless grabs his shirt over his chest in its claws and then disappears in a cloud of smoke. Sora’s arms linger and then drop to his sides. He sways in place and Vanitas grabs his shoulder before he collapses. Sora lifts a hand and hangs onto his arm and even through the suit, his fingers feel stone cold. Vanitas shivers and pulls him upright.

Sora shakes his head like he’s been stunned and is just waking up. He sways in Vanitas’s grip, his own on Vanitas’s arm strangely tight. When his eyes open, they’re entirely gold.

Vanitas jerks out of his grip and away several steps, keyblade already in hand. Startled by the lack of support, Sora stumbles and then straightens up. “Vanitas?” His voice is normal now and he squints Vanitas’s direction. “Are you okay?”

_ It has to be fake. There is no doubting what he saw: Sora’s eyes all gold with no pupil in sight. A monster. _

But as Vanitas lights the tip of his keyblade and Sora blinks at him in confusion, the gold is gone from those blue eyes. It doesn’t stop Vanitas’s voice from growling as he snaps, “What was that?”

“My Heartless.” Sora wraps his arms around himself. “Or something like it, I think. I knew it was...me. So I...took it back?” He shifts in place, staring around them with eyes no longer glowing gold.

Slowly, Vanitas lowers his keyblade, flames still flickering on its end. “Why would it be here?”

Sora shrugs. “I don’t know. I don’t even know if it was my real Heartless. I mean, I’m still kind of whole?”

“Kind of.”

Sora’s good at taking a hint; he keeps talking. “I told you, Vanitas. I pulled myself apart getting Kairi back. Maybe...literally?” He rubs at his arms. “Is it colder here?”

Ugh. Vanitas banishes his blade and takes another step closer. Sora shivers a little. “Wish you hadn’t taken my jacket.”

“Well I don’t have another to give you.” Vanitas lifts a hand and tries to vent his frustration. No Unversed comes out, but sparks gather in his hands. The flame is harder to control this way, but he’s gotten used to it. He holds it between them and Sora holds his hands toward it with a sigh. Vanitas watches him, turning everything they know over in his mind. It’s sadly not much. Still, he has pieces.

_ Pieces. _

Vanitas exhales forcefully. “Pieces of you. You’re not really whole.”

“What?”

“Take it literally: you pulled yourself apart. The Power of Waking is strong, but dangerous. You’re just throwing it out there wildly, or something like it, to track down your princess.” Vanitas holds his arms out, not quite able to gesture with the flames. “But, you put Ventus back and gave those two kids pieces you think belong to them. Think of what that’s done to your heart.”

Sora nods. “But I felt fine.”

Vanitas shrugs. “Maybe, but you’re more than capable of ignoring signs of trouble. You didn’t have much time between putting Ventus back and fighting my master. You’ve been caught up in a war. Why would you notice your heart crumbling a little?” The fire flickers in Sora’s eyes, warmer than gold will ever be. “Then those other two-.”

“Roxas and Xion.”

“Sure,  _ whatever. _ The Nobodies, you gave them pieces that have their memories, but they’re part of your heart. You’ve broken yourself for them.”

Sora shakes his head rapidly. “Not  _ really _ . Their hearts became a part of mine, but they didn’t come from me. Roxas and Xion had their own. The notes from DiZ, er Ansem said so.”

“Okay, so they had their own hearts. Regardless, you carried them and then they separated. For the past nine, ten years, you’ve been carrying Ventus around.”  _ While Vanitas got the dark and the nothing, not even allowed to go home. _ “Your heart is used to something else. It’s weak on its own and you pushed past limits that any heart would break under.”

“So,” Sora says carefully, “what am I supposed to do? I’m not...dead?”

Vanitas snorts. “No, you’re not dead,  _ obviously. _ But you’re broken and not like me and Ventus. We found that Heartless, so…” He arches an eyebrow and waits.

“We have to find the pieces,” Sora finishes and his eyes look bright, so like the ones Vanitas remembers from the Graveyard. “And we already found one! You’re so smart, Vanitas.”

“I’m not an idiot. There’s a difference.” Vanitas closes his fingers around the fire, extinguishing it. “So, this place is giving you a chance to find the pieces you broke off. We find them, we get higher, maybe we get out of here.” It’s not a bad goal. It might even be achievable.

Vanitas grins wide enough for his fangs to be on display. “I’m so very good at pieces.”

Sora actually smiles back. “Do you think there’s another set of stairs around here?” He moves past Vanitas, already looking for the way up. Vanitas watches his back and then looks at Sora’s hands. His nails are black. Vanitas follows him, letting him feel bright and hopeful, and turns plans over in his mind.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Life has been very much-ish recently and now I'm dealing with some job stuff, so thank you all for your patience! This chapter is not the most exciting, but I promise I'm already mostly done with the next which is right back to Sora and Vanitas. (I must maintain the buffer!)
> 
> Enjoy some Ventus!

“I really wasn’t expecting something like  _ this _ inside the castle.” Ven turns a circle in the hallway, staring up at the network of pipes running above them. “I was expecting more of the fairytale stuff you see everywhere. Those don’t have steaming pipes and metal panels.” Radiant Garden is a different sort of fairytale place, at least on the outside. The expansive gardens, the feeling of life everywhere, the happy people… It’s beautiful and full of light and even though things didn’t go  _ well _ back then, Ven still remembered it fondly. 

This is...different than what he remembers.

Ienzo coughs. “Well, this isn’t really a fairytale place...anymore.” He rubs at his shoulder which Ven has to reach  _ up _ to touch now. Seeing Ienzo again after was even stranger than seeing Lea again. Ienzo was  _ tiny _ , Lea was always kind of gangly. Funnily enough, Ienzo had remembered him even better than Lea. “We’re rather advanced in scientific principles compared to many of the worlds you’ve been to.”

Ven nods. “Yeah, I’ll say. Your dad is the one who built a lot of this, right?”

“He’ll claim so, but Even has never been an architect. Much of the building was made according to Lord Ansem’s specifications.” Ienzo waves him forward and they continue down the hall. “Now, the lab, that was designed to Even’s specifications.”

There’s a lot of darkness here, in the people and the walls, and it hurts for Ven to see. So, he’s doing his best to let them know that things happen and he doesn’t blame them for Xehanort’s plots. He acts sixteen, maybe a bit less here, and hopes it bolsters them. He grins at Ienzo, folding his arms behind his head. “So he’ll notice if we shift everything an inch to the left?”

Ienzo snorts. “Yes, he will. But if you want to do it, I know Dilan would gladly volunteer to assist.”

“So you don’t want to help?”

“I didn’t say that.” Ienzo’s lips twitch. “Before you start driving him insane, you had things you wanted to discuss, correct? Trust me, Even is much more receptive to conversations when he’s not distracted by his life being an inch off-kilter.”

Ven nods, very seriously. “Right, got it. I’ll save it for next time.”

That gets a quick grin out of Ienzo, another point in Ven’s favor. Their steps echo a bit off the walls until they turn the corner and reach a bright red door. “Whoa.” Ven doesn’t want to say it, but that’s kind of  _ ominous _ . Ienzo doesn’t seem bothered, pulling it open and gesturing Ven forward. Ven does and finds himself in a rather warmly lit, circular office. “Oh, cool.”

“We’re still cleaning things up bit by bit, but everything from this point on is in much better shape.” Ienzo brushes a hand over the large desk that takes up half the space. It has an assortment of papers and little doodads on top of it, including what looks like a giant yellow bird that will rock forward and dip its beak in the little bowl in front of it. Ienzo does not take notice of Ven’s silent mental push for him to touch it. Instead he dusts his hands off and leads Ven to another door. This one is solid metal and slides open when they approach.

Ven  _ might _ prefer the fairy tale castles, honestly. At least 626’s ship had been brighter in color. He follows Ienzo through and ends up gasping like a fool. They’re on a walkway suspended high above the floor of a  _ giant _ room. Ven runs to the railing to look down on it all. The walls are lined with strange pod-like devices and there’s so much space. “Hello!” he calls out, listening for any echo. “This is incredible!”

Ienzo hums and keeps walking, his shoulders a stiff line. Ven looks at the machines again and bites his lip.  _ Maybe not so incredible if they were used for… _ He lets go of the railing and hurries after his now-grown friend. There’s another door into what looks like an observation room that slides open when they approach. Ienzo steps inside and Ven is right on his heels. 

It’s definitely some kind of observation and control room. A large bank of switches, lights, and panels is set under a long window that looks into the huge room ahead of them. Set on the opposite wall is a large ring of machinery that Ven is pretty sure acts like a gate into the computers if he’s remembering Sora’s adventures right. Just to be safe, he stays away from the front of it.

A man standing at the controls directly in front of the ring clearly does not have the same fears. Ven doesn’t remember much about Even other than an impression of a tall, severe looking man with long blond hair and the man in front of him checks those same boxes. Drumming his fingers on the control case, he stares down at a screen with a frown. His hair is pulled back into a very heavy looking bun with only his bangs left to hang to either side of his face. He doesn’t even look up at the sound of the door, focused entirely on what he’s doing.

So, there’s no way Ven can interrupt him. He folds his hands behind his back and rocks back on his heels. Ienzo looks at him and then coughs what could almost be a chuckle. He covers it with his hand. “If we don’t say something, he’ll stay like this the whole time.”

“But it could be important,” Ven hisses to him.  _ Do not interrupt the masters’ work. _

Ienzo shrugs. “I doubt it. We’re no longer in need of the replicas. He locked down his research so only a few of us have access and we purged the rest. It could honestly just be a grocery list. You never know with him.” He steps forward, taking a spot right next to Even. “Even, we have a guest.”

Even  _ grunts _ and doesn’t look up. Ienzo looks at Ven and arches an eyebrow.  _ See? _ “Even,” he says again. “Ventus is here to talk to us. He called this morning, remember?”

“Ventus isn’t coming until after lunch.” Even taps a couple keys and then goes back to glaring at the screen.

“It is after lunch. We ate an hour ago.” Ienzo rolls his eyes. He pokes his father in the shoulder. “He’s also standing right here while you try to glare a hole in whatever you’re doing.”

“I’m attempting to decipher this data from their journals actu-.”

“Not important!” Ienzo grabs his shoulder and turns him. “Even, Ven. Ven, Even.”

Ven lifts a hand and waves awkwardly. “Hi?”

Even blinks a couple times and then brushes his hands over his coat. “Hello, Ventus. I apologize for my distraction. Research never ceases.”

“It does when you’re not a fixated, obsessive old man.” Ienzo lets go of Even and crosses his arms over his chest. “Should we go find a more comfortable place to talk?”

“Actually, if that has all your files on it, it might be better to stay here.” Ven points at the computer. “The stuff I wanted to talk about is your research.” Even and Ienzo trade a look and Ven holds both hands up. “Not the bad stuff! The general stuff about hearts and Nobodies and...stuff.” Maybe Kairi’s right and he does need to go to an actual school.

Even arches an eyebrow. “Well, personal experience alone does count for a lot. What brought on these questions?”

“It’s not hard to guess.” Ienzo frowns a bit. “This is about Sora.”

“Not entirely,” Ven says, sticking his tongue out. “And some things you don’t know that I want to talk to you about.”

Now they’re both eyeing him, half-offended in Even’s case. Ven sighs and rubs the back of his neck. “Look, mostly I need to know about the bonds between us. Sora and Roxas is partially why I’m here, but I’m also wondering if you might be able to...guess some things about my bond with Vanitas based on what you’ve already studied.”

Even lifts a hand to his chin and hums. “Riku and Kairi have asked us questions about connections as well, but they seemed intent on the bonds already forged between themselves and Sora. I suppose they spoke directly to Roxas to learn any information about his bond with their friend. Naminé as well...” His eyes pin Ven in place as he hums again. “You and Vanitas I have only heard about vaguely. Your heart was split, correct?”

“Kind of. Xehanort tried to extract all the darkness from my original heart and technically did it, but it broke my heart.” Ven waves a hand. “Light versus darkness, original run at the x-blade, yada yada. The important thing is the basis of Vanitas’s heart or whatever he has is the darkness from mine. Neither of us are still that, no matter what Xehanort thought, but we are connected. And more than that, we’re both connected to Sora. When Xehanort broke our original heart into pieces, Sora is the one who saved my part from breaking apart and fading away. That affected Vanitas too.”

Ienzo blinks. “Everything really is tied in knots around here.” He leans back on the console, his hands carefully placed to not press anything. “Two broken parts of a single heart connected to Sora. Both hearts healed after his interference.”

“Maybe? I don’t know what Xehanort and the darkness did to Vanitas. He fell apart and disappeared during the Keyblade War.” Ven wraps his arms around himself. “But...I think he’s still out there, same as Sora.”

“Truly a fascinating situation.” Even taps his finger to his chin. “Sora and Roxas’s existence is already quite the contrast to a regular Nobody and Somebody. I assume the additional early shaping of Roxas is actually your dormant influence from inside Sora’s heart.” Ven shrugs. “You are all connected and unique and it makes for interesting developments in your hearts and your existences. The heart is always more than what we think…” He trails off, gaze somewhere far away.

_ May your heart be your guiding key… _

Ven tugs at one of the straps over his chest. “Well, that’s what I wanted to ask about. Since our connections are different, would it be possible to use them to find Sora?”

Ienzo and Even trade another look. Even’s brows furrow as Ienzo’s rise. 

“To be able to follow an intangible connection-.”

“It would require some kind of trace we could pick up on.”

“It entirely depends on if such a thing exists. Roxas never could track down Sora like some sort of dowsing rod. Even his birthplace was a world between.” Even shakes his head. “We could study such a thing, but we would be starting almost from scratch. There’s never been any hint of a connection like that.”

Ven takes a breath. “Maybe not between Sora and Roxas. But, Vanitas could always sense me; he used it to follow me. I never felt him, but that was before. Recently, I can’t say for sure, but something is affecting my dreams and I think it might be whatever is left of him.” He told Riku and Kairi that it couldn’t be Vanitas, that it wouldn’t be because it was affecting Roxas and Xion too. But, he’s not so sure. He and Vanitas are tied to Sora, who’s tied to Roxas and Xion. Couldn’t some part of Vanitas stirring cause strange ripples?

Ienzo starts to pace back and forth. “We know from Riku that it’s possible to trace someone through dreams. With your unique connection to Vanitas, perhaps there is a trail we could find. You do come from the same heart.”

“And our emotions are connected. He felt what I felt on top of his own feelings.” Ven holds his hands out. “You remember the Unversed?”

Even scowls. “I do.”

Ienzo tips his head. “I thought they were rabbits.”

“Well, we did call the one type Hareraisers.” Ven laughs a little, embarrassed. “Those are the physical shape of Vanitas’s emotions, his negativity. I haven’t seen any since the war, but if something happens, if there’s a trace of some kind, could you use that?”

“It would give us a chance.” Even nods. “If you find any of them, do let us know. And if you have the time, we could scan your heart.”

Ven digs his fingers into the cloth over his chest. “Um, maybe not yet. If I can’t find anything else, then maybe.”  _ Whatever broken, scarred thing he has, he wants to let it stay as it is. _

“As you like.” Even waves a hand. “Before you depart to other duties, let me make a list of things we need to know. That will give us ideas to ruminate on. Ienzo could use a new project.”

“Don’t sign me up for things,” Ienzo huffs at his father. “Like I didn’t already have to deal with the headache of trying to make a replica with half of your notes!”

They start to bicker like kids and their parents do and Ven decides to take a step away. It brings him closer to that window, looking down at a place that was probably the heart of the darkness that spread here. Well, if they can do so much damage, surely, they can help him do a lot more good.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy 18th anniversary to Kingdom Hearts! And a very happy birthday to our boy Sora, and by technicality, Vanitas! 
> 
> Enjoy this super fun chapter with the two of them!

_ Darkness is the heart’s true essence. _

_ What I am...is darkness. _

Vanitas is the darkness from Ventus’s heart riven. He knows darkness, is made of darkness, and he knows basically everything about it. Heartless, Nobodies, Unversed, those are all nonsense, distractions. The things that matter are darkness and light. He knows this better than anyone. He’s heard his master, his pieces, talk on and on about it, but he is the one made from it, the one who understands it in a way deeper than any other.

So, why is it that he can’t get a grip on it anymore?

He curls his fingers into his palm, actually  _ gesturing _ to the darkness around them, and nothing happens. Vanitas glares at it, does the motion again, and then flips the whole thing off when nothing happens. He can feel the cold, thick and slow, but he  _ is _ darkness. He should be able to do something.

Then again, nothing is right here. As they climb higher, the more wrong things feel.

Vanitas looks over his shoulder. Sora is seated on the stairs, staring out into the dark with his legs swinging slowly back and forth. One of his hands is pressed to the wrap around his ribs and it makes the dark black of his nails that much more obvious. Sora’s other hand is resting lightly on the stair beside him. He almost looks relaxed. Vanitas’s eyes narrow.

Really, it hadn’t taken Sora that long to notice.

_ “That’s probably not good.”  _

_ They’ve been walking for maybe thirty minutes across the broken plane, looking for any sign of another way up. Sora stops and looks at his hands, turning both of them over in front of him. He holds one up where Vanitas can see it. “My nails are black.” _

_ Vanitas stares at him. “Yes.” _

_ “That’s probably  _ ** _not_ ** _ good,” Sora repeats, emphasizing the ‘not.’ “Yours aren’t black, right?” He looks down at Vanitas’s gloved hands then back to his. “What is this?”  _

_ “How am I supposed to know?” _

_ “You’re the one being all vague and enigmatic! I am the shadow that you cast...and all that.” Sora looks back at his hands and curls his fingers into his palms. “I’ve never seen anything like this. Before, it was always…” He trails off, mouth twisting. _

_ Vanitas’s hands, never loose, tighten at his sides. “Unless you feel like your hands are going to fall off, why worry about it? Things are weird here. It’s affecting you.” _

_ “Hopefully, not too badly…” Sora takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “You’re right. Stuff’s happening, but I just have to think positive!” _

_ He said nothing of the sort. Vanitas rolls his eyes. “Okay.” _

_ “Onward!” Sora strides ahead again, but he shoves both of his hands into his pants pockets. Vanitas follows, his fingers flexing in and out. _

Sora’s kept up the grating cheerfulness since. It ramped up into ridiculousness when they found the next set of stairs spiraling upward. Sora had actually grabbed his arm and bounced up the first few stairs, dragging Vanitas with him. Vanitas had called Void Gear and shoved it in Sora’s face, but the boy had already let him go. He hadn’t stopped  _ grinning _ even with a weapon practically at his throat.

Vanitas really hates him.

They climbed up the stairs for an hour, but then Sora had stopped and asked for a break. Vanitas, being of darkness and no weaknesses, called him pathetic, but didn’t stride ahead when Sora sat down. Sora’s been sitting on the edge of one of the stairs, one hand to his side, since. His breathing hasn’t been noticeably labored, but Vanitas really hasn’t been paying it that much notice. Other things are more troubling.

Sora, shining beacon of light, hope, and other bullshit, has darkness in his heart. Of course he does. Every damn person does, except Ventus and those damned Princesses of Light. His heart’s been broken to pieces,  _ peeled apart _ , so now he’s holding onto something, something they’re attempting to repair piece by piece now. The piece they found, the Heartless, is darkness.

Sora has a piece more darkness. A shred, not even a huge amount, but it’s having an effect. Can Sora manage it? The odds of them finding a piece of light down here are slim to none. That would have been the first thing that the darkness took from him. Vanitas silently drums his fingers on his arm. He’s already keeping an extra eye on Sora; he needs Sora to actually get stronger. He wants out of here and he wants  _ gone _ . Sora is going to help with both, one way or another.

He won’t be able to tell if Sora can manage his own broken heart until they find more of it. He’ll simply need to be prepared for any reaction. Vanitas has prepared for the worst almost since their separation. He already knows that he’s stronger than Sora here, able to call a weapon and use magic. Even without the ability to really manipulate the space around them, he could easily incapacitate Sora.

It’d be nice to have all of his skills at hand, however. Vanitas exhales too harshly to be a sigh and clenches his hands in and out. If he could shove these feelings out, he’d be able to think better. But no, they sit like a knot in his chest.  _ Is this what a regular heart feels all the time? No, I’m still broken. _

“Do you want to keep moving? It feels like I can breathe again.” Sora’s looking at him.  _ When did he start? When did he notice? There was nothing to notice, nothing. _ His warped mirror image, too round and soft, gets his feet under him with a hop up onto the stairs. “I’m not sure about sleep, but I’m not really tired. Are you?”

Vanitas presses his lips together, but there’s no harm in sharing important information. The better Sora knows his strengths, the better he can understand that Vanitas isn’t in the mood to dawdle. “No,” he says shortly. “But I’ve never slept much.”

Sora exhales through his nose, no humor in it. “I used to love it, but recently, I’ve seen the appeal of not.” He starts walking up the stairs, shoulders just a bit slumped. Vanitas follows, and starts to count in his head.

He hits thirty and Sora straightens up, forcing his back straight. “I bet we’ll find a second layer and another piece and maybe then I’ll have the keyblade back. It’s so weird to be without it. I haven’t in...over a year.”

“I really do not care,” Vanitas says flatly. “We’re not trading stories.”

“It’d pass the time better. We could understand each other.” Sora looks over his shoulder, clearly not concerned with the robotic motions of climbing up the spiraling stairs. “I want to understand you, Vanitas.” He looks so damn earnest, eyes all bright despite the darkness curling through his veins.

Vanitas scowls. “I’m not some story for you to cry over. You already know what happened to me. I told you.”

“You told me the basics. You haven’t told me anything about  _ you. _ ” Sora sighs. “Like, I don’t know, are you allergic to anything?”

“What?” Vanitas looks at him in confusion. “How does that help you understand a person?”

Sora shrugs. “It helps me understand that I can’t offer you a certain food or you’ll die?”

It’s so completely ridiculous that Vanitas snorts. He shoves his hair off his forehead and maybe he’s smiling a bit. “Ventus is allergic to tomatoes. I haven’t had any reason to test and see if that’s true for just his darkness.”  _ It should be, even if his body isn’t Ventus’s. _

“You’re not missing much with tomatoes. They’re so squishy.” Sora sticks his tongue out. “Sauces are different, but there’s still white pizza so I guess he’s not missing everything. At home, we’ve got some really great pizzas, but I think other worlds would find them weird. I think they’re great! Honestly, if you don’t like shrimp and lime pizza, are you really enjoying everything out there?”

Sora continues to chatter away as they climb. Clearly, he only needed an excuse to talk. Vanitas lets him. It’s not like there’s a lot to see here, nothing to really keep a close watch on. If things hold, Sora will spot whatever comes next first, no matter what his mouth is doing. Vanitas tunes him out for the most part, staring out into the darkness around them. He’s starting to see subtle shifts in it. Darkness curling over deeper darkness, with the blackness impenetrable far below them.

He doesn’t understand this place, but it rejected him too. If it was true darkness, if  _ he _ was true darkness, then he could have faded into it.  _ Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. _ Vanitas pulls his gaze away before he can get truly angry. The only outlet is Sora and that’s not permissible now. He looks upward instead, into slightly greyer darkness.

_ It unsteadies him to not be able to see the distant stars. They’ve always been there. _

Vanitas rubs at his upper arm and then jerks his gaze to Sora. He’s still talking, but his tone has dropped, gone somber, sad. “Even after we made it home together, all three of us home on the islands and safe, it’s like I knew it wasn’t over. Like I was waiting for the next wave to sweep darkness over us again. I was happy, but I couldn’t stop going over battle plans in my mind.”

“I would think, this time when they come to the play island, I’ll be ready. Riku and Kairi have their keyblades and we’ll be able to beat them back until we find whatever commanding Heartless has come with them. We’ll have combo attacks and magic and-.” Sora cuts himself off and looks at his hands. “Shit,” he whispers. And then, louder, forced, “Hey, Vanitas, what’s your favorite color?”

Sora’s hands curl into fists, but not before Vanitas sees the smoky darkness turning his fingers blacker. He cuts his eyes at Sora’s face, but he’s staring determinedly forward as they continue to climb.  _ Managing it, are we? _ Vanitas folds his arms over his chest. Well, for Sora trying to spare Vanitas the headache of dealing with his unbalanced heart, he’ll give it an honest answer. His favorite color…

“It used to be yellow,” he says, striving to keep his voice flat. “I can remember us being excited about yellow flowers, about these...banners for some holiday. Sun stuff, light stuff, you know. Keyblade wielders have always been obsessed with light.”  _ Idiots. We were both and that was perfect. _ Vanitas climbs three, four more stairs after Sora. “Now, it’s purple.”

Not that he’s given it much thought recently. He’s been more focused on the important things: getting his heart back, being  _ himself _ again. But if he had to pick a color…

“Purple reminds me of bad things, but I guess...it can’t be all bad.” Sora has stopped climbing the stairs, balanced between two of them. “Purple and yellow...interesting choices.”

“Not all of us got raised in a world of sea and sky to be in love with fucking blue,” Vanitas spits at him. “Keep moving.”

Sora backs up to the edge of the stairs. “Uh, you go ahead?”

“What? Scared I’ll attack you from behind?” Vanitas glares at him. “Coward.” He stomps forward, climbing past Sora as fury pounds in his temples. He can so easily see the shapes of the Unversed, the ones that would spit fire in time with his anger, but they still don’t come. He feels ready to bubble over, the calm rationale of mere minutes ago evaporating.

“Vanitas, have you been to the islands?” Sora’s voice is at a distance and Vanitas pauses to glance back. Sora is standing where he left him, his hands still curled into fists. He’s staring up at Vanitas, face strangely tight. 

_ What could it hurt? Ventus has probably told him. _ “Once,” Vanitas answers shortly. “I was following Ventus and he was sent there. It was right before we fought in the Graveyard. It’s a tiny place.”

Sora shakes his head. “Everyone says that and I understand it’s small compared to all the worlds out there, but...you know there’s more than one island, right?”

“It’s called the Destiny  _ Islands _ . It’s fucking plural. Yes, there’s more than fucking one. Your friends are just obsessed with that tiny one. Your little playground.” Vanitas waves a hand. “Who cares. Nothing important is there.”

“It’s where the door is.” Sora’s voice is flat.

Vanitas’s gaze snaps back to him. “What door?” 

“The keyhole, the heart of the world. The door to it is there on the play island.” Sora lifts his hands and looks at them. The black has spread, starting to cover his palms. “It was locked. We made sure once we were all home again. No darkness could come through again. But I kept waiting and waiting. So, yeah, there’s nothing there. Nothing, but that. That’s what matters, right? To you and to everybody who was chosen to be a keyblade wielder.”

Something shifts around them. Like an Archraven swooping low to land on his shoulder, Vanitas can feel it brush past him. He whips around to look, but there’s nothing but the next couple stairs. Something brushes his cheek and he whirls back around to look at Sora. “...That’s all that matters to guardians of light, yeah. I don’t even give a shit about that. Covering the worlds in darkness wasn’t my thing.”

Sora is still staring at his hands. “I didn’t think the island was small. It was home, more than anything. And then that door opened and I couldn’t stop thinking. We got  _ home _ ,  _ finally _ , and I had to go check it, again and again and again. What if it opened? What if it all came back?”

“You locked it. Only another keyblade wielder could open it.” The air is still twitching around them, brushing at Vanitas’s arms in ghost-like touches. It hums quietly, the very air trembling. Vanitas squeezes his fingers tight, a moment from calling his weapon to hand. “What? Are you mad that I called your home small? Get over it, Sora.”

“I don’t care what you all think about my home!” Sora shouts it at him, hands thrown into the air. “It’s not your home! It’s barely even mine! I got to be home for a few months and then it was back to this! Back to Xehanort, back to fighting for everything, back to having to save everyone who ever got caught up in his plans!”

_ What the fuck? _ Vanitas calls his keyblade in a flash of stars. He swings it down at his side, sharp enough to push back against the air swirling around them. “Sora, shut up.”

“Or what? You’ll throw me off the stairs?” Sora’s eyes are sharp, but their color is murky in the strange air around them. “I can’t stop feeling wrong! I just want to go home, but that wasn’t good enough last time!”

Vanitas turns away from him, searching the dark for whatever is disturbing the air. “Are you doing this?” he mutters. “I need him calm. Stop it.” There’s no response, the air still swirling. Vanitas hisses through his teeth and turns back to Sora. Sora has his face in his hands, the black up to his wrists. “Sora, stop,” he commands.

“Stop what?” Sora asks without lifting his head. “I want to go home, Vanitas. I want home to feel like it did before all of this.”

He’s never had that. He only has fragments of memory of something that might have been like it. Vanitas could scream it into Sora’s face, but he doesn’t. It won’t snap Sora out of this. He climbs back down the stairs quickly and grabs one of Sora’s wrists with his free hand. “Sora,” he says, bluntly, “look at this. You need to stop.” He shakes Sora’s arm.

Sora lifts his head, staring at nothing. Vanitas shakes him again and Sora blinks. He looks at the hand Vanitas has and frowns. “It’s not as bad as anti-form. I’m fine.”

“Something is making this worse. Pay attention and tell me what it is. I can  _ feel _ it.” Vanitas keeps hold of Sora’s arm, waiting for the black to spread even further.

“You can feel it? Feel what?” Sora looks at him, still frowning, and then around. It’s like he wakes up the more he moves. His eyes brighten and he steps slightly closer to Vanitas. “What is that?” he asks, softer than before. “Something’s here.”

“No shit,” Vanitas hisses. He tightens his grip on his keyblade. “Does it feel familiar? It started when you got angry.”

Sora presses his lips together and shakes his head. His eyes close, his eyebrows knitted with his frown. Vanitas waits, trying to sense where it is in the air around them. It brushes over their heads and Vanitas swings his keyblade up. Sora’s eyes snap open and Vanitas can see them flash yellow as he hurls a fire spell at whatever is lurking in the dark.

The fire hits, lighting up a massive shape. It’s leaning down from a platform not far above them with two massive hands. Its glowing yellow eyes are fixed on them, the only part of its face not wrapped with vine-like pieces. It leans further out, reaching for Sora, and exposing the shape cut out of its chest. Vanitas barely has time to process that it is literally missing a heart before he has to swing Void Gear into a guard.

The hand reaching for Sora slams into Void Gear and Vanitas is shoved back against Sora, both hands holding his keyblade between them and the Heartless. “What the fuck,” he spits out, “is this doing here?”

Hands hold his shoulders, keep them both from the edge. “That’s a Darkside! It’s what took out most of Destiny Islands. It’s got nothing to do with me,” Sora adds quickly. “I never turned into one or anything.”

Vanitas doesn’t spare the breath for arguing just this moment.  _ Everything _ has to do with Sora. No doubt this does too somehow. With Sora as a brace, he digs his heels in as much as he can and shoves the Darkside back, slicing at its palm with the same motion. It leans back, shaking its hand in the air. Vanitas huffs. “Weak points?”

“Its face if you can get to it. The hands are what it mostly attacks with.” Sora still has his shoulders. “They don’t like fire, but they’ll start to call meteors if they get time to pull in the energy.”

So being low is not an advantage. Vanitas glances toward the stairs still curling up and then at the platform the Darkside is on. “...You said before that it felt like you could fly. Was that true?”

Sora’s hands twitch on his shoulders. “...I’m not sure. It’s powered by happy thoughts. I’m kind of stressed out.”

“Haven’t you ever used it while fighting?”

“Well, yeah, but then I just sort of did it.” Sora gently pushes Vanitas away from him and the edge. “Here’s different. I don’t see you teleporting or flying.”

“Wind spells are harder in dead air places,” Vanitas mutters. “We need to get up there,  _ now. _ Before it-.”

“Vanitas!” Sora grabs his arm, but something is already slamming into his back. Vanitas slams into Sora and there’s no teetering. They both go flying off the edge of the stairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :3
> 
> Happy birthday, boys!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that cliffhanger lasted longer than I wanted to. I blame (makes vague gesture at the whole world). But, hey, it's my birthday and I wanted to get something out because I'm weird like that!
> 
> Anyway, I'm back on track for this fic and we're finally getting into the real fun stuff now! Enjoy!

Vanitas used to have dreams of flying. Wings spread behind him, filling with air, and he rises and rises. He rises far above the world, above the pain and the hate, until he can touch the stars. He flies through the night sky, cold and alone, but strangely almost at peace. But even in his dreams, the sun always rose and he fell back to the earth.

The wind whistles past them in the empty dark in the same way it did when he called the wind and the rusted ancient keyblades to carry him. A mockery of flight, at least that was under his control. Vanitas can’t orient himself, can’t make sense of where they are or where the enemy is. Everything is the howling wind and Sora’s arms wrapping tighter around him.

He shouts in pure frustration and thrusts a hand out. Any direction will do, but he tries to aim down. “ _ Aeroga _ !”

The wind blasts down from his hand, pushing against the void and their motion slows. Vanitas can breathe, but then something jerks them sharply to the right. “Fuck!”

“Hold on!” Sora sounds breathless and he’s the one who has dug his fingers into Vanitas’s shoulders. “I don’t know how long I can-.”

They drop sharply and Vanitas grabs one of Sora’s arms. “Just get us back to the-!”

“I’m going!” They jerk to the right again, but this time the motion smooths out. It’s a glide, almost uncomfortably quick, but the sharpness is gone. Vanitas exhales and does not move. Anything that could disrupt Sora is an action that can be taken once his feet are back on the solid ground. He can’t see anything, not the stairs and not the Darkside. He just has to hope Sora’s not-inconsiderate ability actually lasts when this place has tried to drain it all away.

Something swings over them, disrupting the air, and Vanitas lifts his hand the opposite direction of the way they’re going. “Don’t fucking drop me,” he orders. Sora’s hands tighten and Vanitas almost grins. “ _ Aeroga _ !” They blast forward again, Sora shouting in surprise, but then Vanitas can see the stairs below them. “Sora, there!”

“Nope! You wanted an opening, right?” They jerk higher and Vanitas grabs for Sora’s arms around him automatically. They soar upward and then the Darkside is directly below them. Sora is starting to flag, his speed dropping. “Good?”

“Perfect!” Vanitas smirks. He calls his keyblade and then flips it around, holding it along his arm with the teeth out. “Drop me.”

Sora’s arms open and Vanitas falls like a stone. Gold eyes look up at him and those hands lift, but they won’t be fast enough. Vanitas holds his arm in front of his face, keyblade out.  _ Closer, closer… _

_ Fira! _

Fire spins down his arm and Void Gear. Vanitas swings it out and then right before he makes contact, slams the blade down. Fire and molten metal connect directly with the Darkside’s face and it screams. Vanitas flips around and rolls as he hits the ground. He hops back to his feet, flipping his keyblade back into its usual position.

The Darkside rubs at the fire still burning at its eyes. Vanitas could lunge in, try to finish it off, but with its hand right at its face, it’s a dangerous strategy to use. He darts in at its feet instead, slashing at its ankles and legs where sinew and muscle would be if it were human. The Darkside is not, but its legs are unstable and it crashes to its knees.

One of its massive hands moves to the hole in its chest; purple and red lights start to gather there.  _ Magic. Maybe Meteor. _ No time to waste then. Vanitas twists, tugging at the darkness around. It’s cold still, unwilling, but he pulls it to him enough to give him a step. He leaps off it, gaining height to crack his keyblade against its face again. It teeters, knocked off balance, and Vanitas smirks. A hand lifts toward him, tendril-like fingers reaching for him.

He flips, falling backwards toward the ground again. His keyblade points straight at its eyes, the hand barely a consideration. “Too slow.” Fire rips through the darkness and the Darkside explodes into vapor.

Vanitas lands on his feet, skidding across the floor to use up his momentum. He straightens, Void Gear swinging up to land on his shoulder. It feels  _ good _ . He  _ is _ powerful, he  _ is _ better than the simple darkness that people fall into. Things here are wrong, but they can’t best him. But, that’s why he needs to get out of here. He’s tired of only being able to beat the scraps around him.

He scowls at the miasma curling away into the dark, and then turns to look for Sora. The fight went quickly, but it’s strange to not have heard a peep from him. Hopefully he didn’t fucking fall into the void after dropping Vanitas. 

Banishing Void Gear in a sparkle of stars, Vanitas takes in the now empty platform. Unlike the last, this one has more than giant broken stones. Thorny vines curl out of the darkness, spilling over broken paving stones that glow with faint threads of light. A road to nowhere, swallowed by this place, it looks like it’s collapsed on itself. Squinting, he can almost make out shapes that look like trees in the distance. “So, we’re getting somewhere,” he mutters. Nowhere real and nowhere near the Realm of Light yet, but this is more like the Realm of Darkness than before. 

“Sora,” Vanitas shouts out into the mess. “Where are you?” He calls fire to his hand, lighting the area around him, expecting a quick answer.

Only silence replies.

Frowning, Vanitas turns and walks back to the edge. He can see the stairs circling down, but no one collapsed on them. “Sora!”

No answer.

“Great,” Vanitas spits. “Just great.” He holds the fire higher above his head as he turns back to the platform. Maybe Sora fell and knocked himself unconscious. Maybe Vanitas will find him draped over a tree branch like a slug. With a sigh, he walks down the broken path, uncaring of the vines he crushes under his boots. The noise carries in this empty place, yet another thing for Sora to find him by.

That a minute and another passes without any sign of him makes Vanitas wary. Sora’s weak in some ways, and broken right now, but he’s also a burning determined force. His survival seems unquestionable, even in the strangest of circumstances. The rock solid sense he has of Sora gives him pause. Where does it come from? They’re connected, but not like Vanitas is to Ventus. He’s only met Sora briefly, engaging him in fights and taunts that were as quick as they were brutal.

_ You know him from those fights. It’s nothing more. _

“Sora! Get your ass up and back here!” Vanitas shouts the words, frustrated at his own unease. The trees are now clearly visible, bare branches on dead trunks that are choked with more thorny vines. Vanitas frowns. He can’t see any sign of Sora and this is a far way to fall. He doesn’t have a choice but to keep moving. If he can’t find Sora...well, then his options change.

Vanitas steps into the trees, the broken stones under his feet still winding in what is almost a path, ruined by time and disaster. They quickly surround him, choking the open air. The darkness above is still complete; the branches blend into it turning the line between nothing and his surroundings invisible. The feeling isn’t wholly unfamiliar. 

He walks and walks, eyes darting from tree to tree, looking for any sign of red or yellow among the black and deep green. Nothing has been bright down here, but Sora’s clothes should still stand out. “Especially when I’m the only fucking light around,” Vanitas mutters, holding the flame in his hand further out.

The wind whistles through the branches off and on, always blowing the same direction. It presses at his back, urging him further on. Vanitas ignores it, until it starts to hiss. He stops and looks behind him. The path is the same, nothing has disappeared or changed since he last looked. This place isn’t trying to trap him and the wind should just be the wind.

Another hiss comes from the trees to his right and a tree creaks, its branches swaying slightly.

“Hell,” Vanitas mutters. “Now what.” He closes his fingers on the fire spell, extinguishing it, and calls his keyblade back. Listening hard, he can hear the creak of wood as whatever it is moves from tree to tree. He stays in place, listening to it circle around behind him. It’s not quiet as it thumps to the ground, hissing between its teeth.

Vanitas pivots on the ball of his foot, keyblade coming up in a swing that can both deflect and hurt if it’s close enough. It’s not moving toward him however and Vanitas takes a step back as he takes it in.

Like he’s been dipped in ink, Sora is covered in darkness. His clothes, his hair, his face are all pure black. His eyes glow solid gold, staring at him. He’s not still, his arms twitching, his claws curling and uncurling as he flexes his hands. 

“What the fu-.” Years of hard training kept his keyblade up and it saves him as Sora suddenly lunges toward him. It’s a hard tackle, knocking him to the ground as Sora shoves the keyblade against his chest. That same hiss comes from Sora, despite that his mouth stays closed. Vanitas kicks upward, but Sora twists off him, leaping away with agility that Vanitas recalls from their other fights.

Vanitas gets his feet under him quickly as Sora leaps backward and then up into one of the trees. Tracking him, Vanitas keeps Void Gear up, ready to defend himself. He can’t  _ kill _ Sora, not if he wants to get out of here, but this isn’t something he has any ability to dispel. He’s not  _ Ventus _ with his goddamn  _ cura _ ’s and  _ salvation _ . He has the darkness and clearly, Sora has enough of that right now.

_ What else, what else? _ Vanitas flips backward as Sora lunges at him again, claws extended. The little shit lands on all fours and twists, swinging a leg up to slam a kick into Vanitas’s side. Sliding backward, Vanitas growls between his teeth. “You’re being even more fucking annoying, Sora. That takes talent.” He gives in to the frustration and swings at Sora, a downward blow meant to slam him into the ground. 

The darkness around Sora thickens and he disappears into it. Reappearing a couple feet away, Sora hisses at him again. Straightening, Vanitas growls right back. “Fuck you too. Why are you even like this?”

Sora’s gold eyes don’t give any answer, but Vanitas isn’t an idiot. The fucking Darkside probably had ties to Sora too, so great, more darkness. Sora’s completely out of balance now and can’t control himself.

“Maybe I’ll make you a leash,” Vanitas mutters. He flexes his free hand and then lowers the keyblade to point at the ground. Sora stares at him, crouched with one hand resting on the ground.  _ Like an animal, like a Heartless that is all instinct. Seek, steal, feed the void within.  _

It’s too close for comfort.

Vanitas grinds his teeth together. What can he do about this? He doesn’t have the magic to dispel this, doesn’t have any sort of light spell to call upon. He is darkness and fire and destruction. He’s not-.

No, that’s not true.

_ ‘I didn’t ask for this, to be sifted apart nice and neat. Not just light. Not just darkness.’ _

Years and years ago, waiting for his master to make his final play, waiting for the Unversed to meet their end in a corridor of darkness, hadn’t he thought the same? His master was a fool to think that they’d stay stagnant.

Vanitas chose the darkness, as Ventus chose the light, but neither of them is pure.

“This is the worst idea.” Vanitas banishes his keyblade and then sits down on the ground. Sora tilts his head, watching him closely. “Light, ha, like I’ve got more than a speck.” But if he can call to it, maybe Sora’s damnable light will answer. These guardians of light only ever need a reminder of what they are. Light never stays out for long.

He hasn’t been able to call any of them here, but maybe, he can force one of them out. Vanitas takes a breath and makes himself think of nothing. When his mind is clear, and he hasn’t been leapt upon by Sora again, Vanitas calls up the memories that remind him most of what he lacks.

_ It’s a stupid world, brightly colored and full of unending fake happiness. The residents all remind him of the worst of false promises. Here you can be happy! Here we have fun all day! What lies. Their world will fall to darkness just like the rest of them once he has what he needs. _

_ Ventus skips through it like it’s the best day of his life. What dangers lurk beyond the borders when he has  _ ** _games_ ** _ to play. Vanitas will enjoy ripping every memory to shreds once they’re whole again. He watches Ventus play games with the people here, watches him laugh in surprise as he’s given gifts just for participating. As always, Ventus is given and never taken from. _

_ It’s disgusting. _

_ Vanitas should leave, go back to filling other worlds so Ventus has no choice but to follow, but something washes through their bond, something he remembers from the years they’ve been apart. He looks again and Ventus has a spoon hanging from his smiling mouth, a bowl in his hands full of-. _

_ The Unversed appear unbidden, dancing around him and jingling happily. They give a slight chill to the air, belaying their hidden surprises. Vanitas grabs one, yanking it closer and pulling the top off. The thing inside is nothing like the treat Ventus has been given, but Vanitas takes it. _

_ It’s sweet enough to choke him. _

The fat purple jars had been useless at harrying the lights, but Vanitas had had a bit of like for them anyway. It was never the same as the things Ventus was given in his home, baked and perfectly flavored. But they’d been something, a poor echo of happiness that he was allowed.

Vanitas cups his hands in front of him and thinks of those treats and nothing else. Sugar, so much sugar, and all in bright colors and shapes. Jealousy twists his thoughts, but that was always there too. He tugs and presses the feelings together, trying to do by will what was once impossible to stop.

Same as it has been since they started climbing upward, the darkness fights him. But it’s not the darkness around them, it’s what is inside him. It’s settled and wants to stay as it is. Then again, he wants the emotions to take form, not just the darkness. And these were never quite negativity.

_ I only need one - one small speck. _

_ Ventus’s laugh rang around the plaza and for a moment, Vanitas s-. _

The Prize Pod appears with the same little jingle he remembers and lands heavily in his hands. Gasping for breath, Vanitas glares at it. Its bright red eyes smile up at him and it sends a little wave of cool air over him. It helps with the sweat that’s sprung up at his temples. Vanitas wipes his face on his shoulder and then looks up.

Sora is sitting there like a cat, hands resting in front of him on the ground. His eyes are fixated on the Unversed.  _ That better be good. _ Vanitas takes a breath, ignoring the subtle shake in his hands. He pulls the top off the pot and reaches inside. It’s the same as before, cool and with a surprise treat inside. Vanitas tugs it out and then holds it out toward Sora.

Yellow eyes practically stare a hole in the star-shaped treat. Vanitas shakes it a little. “Come get it, you stupid-.” He yelps as Sora lunges forward, snatching the treat from his hand. “ _ Fuck _ you,” Vanitas tells him with feeling, rubbing his fingers. Sora is back in the same spot as before, turning it over in his claws.

Vanitas isn’t sure what he expected. Touching it didn’t do a damn thing, but it’s just a stupid sugar treat. He scrapped emotions from inside him with a knife and it was all to give the darkness-filled Sora a toy. “Fuckin’ incredible,” he mutters, rubbing at his forehead. “So much for that. Maybe I  _ will _ put you on a leash and drag you to the light.”

Sora looks at him and then down at the treat. His claws tighten on it and the thing breaks right in half. Vanitas, very politely, does not scream at him. He’s too fucking tired for it - his head is pounding now, right behind his eyes. Maybe...maybe he just needs a break. He presses the heels of his hands against his eyes.

“Promise,” says a rough voice, hissing at its edges.

Vanitas’s head snaps back up. Sora is sitting there, still ink-black, but he presses the halves of the treat back together. The star shape isn’t perfect, but recognizable. “I...promised,” Sora says, his voice coming back. “We made...a promise.”

Light blazes and Vanitas throws an arm up to shield his eyes. It doesn’t last long and as it quickly fades away, Sora is left lying on the ground and back to normal. Even his hands are no longer black, fingers wrapped around the pieces.

Blood thundering in his ears, Vanitas half-considers collapsing backward. Not in relief, but in pure damn exhaustion. There, he fixed it for now. But his work is never fucking done. With a mental groan, Vanitas gets his feet under him again. Sora is absolutely unconscious on the stones and this is hardly a defensible position.

“Back to this. What a mighty guardian of light. Like my master  _ really _ gave you the x-blade.” Vanitas grumbles quietly as he gets Sora up and onto his back again. He feels twice as heavy as last time and the quiver has spread to Vanitas’s arms.  _ Get off the road, find a wall to put your back to. Move. _

He walks forward, following the road as it grows twisted and the forest grows thicker. The Prize Pod follows behind him, occasionally jingling what could almost be encouragement. Vanitas ignores it and the pieces Sora is still holding, dangling near his heart.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I'm posting this as my cat gives my elbow a grooming so forgive me if any typos have slipped through. I got a lot of details for the developments of this fic ironed out finally, so I'm hoping to update again in two weeks instead of a month.
> 
> Enjoy!

“Here’s what we know. Number one, Sora connected with my heart the day he was born. Number two, I lived in Sora’s heart for a decade while my heart healed. Number three, Roxas is Sora’s Nobody and his Other, which I don’t entirely get but okay, it’s another connection. Number four, Sora is out there somewhere, somewhere cold and dark and his heart was calling to Roxas for...a reason. Number five, there’s no trace of Vanitas’s negativity that I can find, but I’m sure that he’s still out there somewhere too because…”

Ven bites his lip. “Honestly, it just doesn’t feel right that he’s not still...somewhere. Right?” He looks at Chirithy, seated on the kitchen island and listening to him read his list.

Chirithy lifts their little hands in a shrug. “Ven is Ventus, Vanitas is Ventus. You should both still be here.”

That’s not entirely comforting, but it also sounds a lot like Ven’s thoughts. For a moment there in the graveyard, he’d wanted nothing more than for Vanitas to go back to where he belonged. But, that was another kind of death, wasn’t it?

Ven shakes his head. He needs to focus on the present. There are things he can do and things he can’t. Things he  _ can _ take priority, especially since they might help them all find Sora. “Things I have guesses about include that somehow Vanitas might be with Sora in some way. He said that thing about being our shadows, but he’s not anywhere here that I can find. I never felt anything before, but I  _ really _ don’t now. And if he was my shadow...I think I’d feel it.”

He taps another line into the notes on his gummiphone:  _ Dreams? _ They haven’t had another, not that Roxas or Xion have told him, but it still feels like a lead with all Riku and Sora experienced in the Realm of Sleep. 

Chirithy waves from the counter, grabbing his attention. “Ven, you remember what I told you, right? About the taboo?”

“Of course!” Ven waves a hand, not quite flinging his phone. “If you try to break a taboo like changing the future somehow, the universe will set itself to rights by removing you.”

The little cat nods. “Right. Please remember that and be careful, okay?”

Ven smiles at them. “I will. It’s not like we know how to time travel anyway.” He goes back to his gummiphone, considering the list he’s made. “Even and Ienzo are studying what data they have on the Unversed and what Riku and Kairi can give them on Sora. I still have the notes Ienzo already sent me…” He flips to the files, flicking through them.

There’s so much going on, all of them working hard to recover, keep the worlds safe, and look for Sora. It’s enough to make his head spin, but it also feels like he’s not doing enough. Ven bites his lip in his distraction, reading over the complex notes Ienzo sent him on hearts and their connections. Roxas and Xion are supposed to be coming over to go over information and to hang out. Apparently, Isa and Lea have been “getting suffocating to be around” as they rebuild their friendship. Ven gets it. He’s had to make a few quick getaways from Terra and Aqua.

_ Lord Ansem’s information noted three hearts inside of Sora’s. We now know those to be the hearts of Roxas, Xion, and Ventus. Now that the three of them have their own bodies, both their original and those of the new replicas, we have little knowledge of the bond they still share. Xion reports feeling a connection to Kairi that she did not have before returning to Sora. Naminé shares a strong bond with Kairi as well, despite the lack of body connection to her. Roxas and Xion both report retaining some form of Sora’s memories and feelings they attribute to him, while Ventus reports most of his time as “dreamlike.” He does not report any feelings from Sora that he can recognize. _

_ Without Sora present, we are unable to study these bonds between Nobody, Replica, and Other. So far, our hypothesis is that the presence of Ventus’s heart and Sora’s body resulted in a jum-. _

Another window pops open over the file as his gummiphone starts ringing. Ven blinks to make his eyes focus on the new text and quickly hits the answer button as Xion’s name becomes legible. Her face appears, worried lines drawing her mouth into a frown. “Ven, hi. Have you heard from Roxas?”

“No? I thought you guys were leaving together.” Ven leans against the island beside Chirithy. The dream eater leans closer to see Xion and Ven rubs the top of their head. “Did he leave early? He couldn’t take any more of Isa and Lea?”

Xion shakes her head quickly. “No, nothing like that! He was waiting for me in the alley beside the house, because I needed to come back in and leave a note for Axel that we wouldn’t be back until tomorrow. He always forgets and then gets all worried and calls.” She waves a hand, brushing aside the comment like it’s not important. “But when I came back outside, Roxas was already gone!”

Ven mutters a swear. That’s not like Roxas at all. He has no reason to leave Xion behind, unless… “There wasn’t any sign of a fight?”

“No, nothing like that. We haven’t seen any of the Heartless or Nobodies here for a while. We cleared them out pretty good.” Xion pushes her hair out of her face. “There was the trace of a corridor, but it wasn’t like one that the dusks use or anything. I thought he might have just left early. It’s not like there’s anyone left who’d just grab him, you know?”

“Yeah, of course,” Ven answers automatically. “Everything’s fine right now.” He winces. “We’ll find him, Xion. I’ll go check outside and see if he’s here. Check around there in case he ran into someone and is talking to them nearby?”

Xion nods. “Thanks, Ven. Call me right back if you find him! Roxas, you jerk,” she mutters and ends the call.

Ven sighs and then straightens up. “Where could he be if he just disappeared?”

“I’m not sure. Would anyone else be able to help find him?” Chirithy bounces up onto Ven’s shoulder, hanging onto the metal as they leave the kitchen. 

“Not really? It’s not like we have Pluto around to track him down.” Ven squints at the ceiling of the hall. “Actually, I’m not sure if Pluto can track people. Xion just says that he’s a ‘good boy.’”

Chirithy shrugs their little paws and sighs.

“Hey, Ven. Roxas and Xion on their way?” Terra is walking toward them from the other end of the hall, a book under one arm. He’s cut another inch off his hair so that it no longer touches his neck, but it looks like he actually slept last night.

Ven grimaces. “They’re supposed to be, but Xion said that Roxas was waiting outside and disappeared on her. It looks like he took a dark corridor.”

Terra’s eyebrows draw together - not quite frowning yet. “He left without her? That doesn’t sound like the two of them. Is he here?”

“No idea. I was going to check the courtyard.” Ven gestures down the hall. “Maybe he thought she was close behind him, I don’t know.”

“I’ll come with you. Three sets of eyes are better than two.” Terra rubs between Chirithy’s ears, earning him a squeak. “I was just searching our library for a couple books.”

“Anything in particular?” Ventus starts them moving toward the front door, fighting the antsy feeling that tells him to run. It’s fine - Roxas can take care of himself. Chirithy, so very aware of him, pats his cheek.

Terra lifts the book he’s holding, showing Ven the cover. It’s dark brown with a brilliant red rose on the front. “Gardening,” he says with a smile. “I went to visit Radiant Garden with Aqua and one of the guards was talking about the gardens around the castle. Apparently, he used to do rose breeding, but the place is still being um, repaired. He doesn’t have the same things he used to have on hand.”

It’s not hard to read the emotion that crosses Terra’s face. Ven reaches out and takes the book, hoping to distract him. “How did our library come up then?”

“I mentioned the wildflowers we have and the ones that grow up on the mountains. Dilan wanted to know if we had any books on them. I think he wants to see if they can cross-breed with the flowers that are native there.” Terra shrugs. “I told him I’d take a look and there we go.” He waves a hand at the book.

Ven flips it open as they keep walking. It’s an older book, but very pretty. The illustrations are all hand-painted and beautifully rendered. “Wow. I hope this works. I’ll have to go look next time I visit Ienzo.”

“He and Even were caught up in some kind of conversation the whole time we were in the castle. I don’t know that they noticed either of us.” Terra chuckles. He takes the book back when Ven offers it, tucking it back under his arm. “I’m planning on going to take this over to them tomorrow. Do you want to come?”

“Sure, sounds fun, Terra.” Ven smiles at him, but looks forward again quickly as they turn the corner and enter the front hall. He picks up his pace, sure that Terra won’t take offense, and goes right to the door. Tugging one open, he shades his face and looks down into the courtyard.

It’s empty. There’s no sign of Roxas. 

“Dammit,” Ven mutters.

“Did he come inside before we got here?” Chirithy asks.

Ven turns back into the hall, jogging towards the stairs. It wouldn’t shock him if Roxas came in to lounge in one of the fancy chairs. He gets to the bottom and Terra leans over the rail at the top. He shakes his head. “No one’s up here. He’s not outside?”

The small bubble of hope deflates and Ven slumps. “No, he’s not here.”

Terra mutters something that normally wouldn’t cross his lips and starts down the stairs. “Where else could we look?”

“I don’t know. Let me call Xion and let her know he’s not here. Maybe she found him sneaking off for a snack before they came over or something…” It’s incredibly unlikely, but  _ maybe _ . Ven pulls his gummiphone out and sits down on the stairs rather than move.

“Hey, Ven,” Terra stops him from clicking Xion’s name with a hand to his shoulder. Ven looks up at him in confusion. Terra is staring at his phone. “Would Roxas have his gummiphone on him?”

Ven looks at his screen and then shrugs. “Probably? Xion didn’t say anything about him leaving it behind.”

“Could you call him?”

“Xion probably already did,” Ven says slowly. “Maybe I should though.” He doesn’t want to call Xion back with bad news. He scrolls through the short contact list, looking for Roxas’s number. He stops just above it and looks up at Terra. “Wait. Ienzo made the phones.”

Terra arches an eyebrow. “Yes?”

“Ienzo  _ made _ them! He might be able to find where they are!” Ven scrolls back up and hits Ienzo’s name. “Computers can find each other, can connect with each other. If he can find out where Roxas’s phone is, we’ll know where he is.” It rings and rings and Ven really, really hopes it’s not one of those times where Ienzo is sleeping because he stayed up all night working.

There’s a beep and then the image opens to show Ienzo squinting at him. At the very least, he’s not in some dark room. “Ven? How are you?”

Ven smiles at him, because he can’t  _ not _ be polite, but is quick to rush through proper greetings. “Fine, fine, but I’ve got something important to ask you. The gummiphones, can you find out where they are?”

“So long as they’re on.” Ienzo rubs his visible eye and then frowns harder. “Not that I’m actively tracking anyone. It’s part of keeping the signal connected and just in case anyone loses one. They’re not something I want dropped anywhere and left for  _ anyone _ to find.”

“Smart,” Terra says approvingly. “The less disruption to the worlds, the better.”

“Anyway,” Ven says before they start debating the world order and information spread or something. “Roxas disappeared on us and we’re trying to find him. Could you track him down?”

Ienzo nods. “Yes, of course. Is there an issue?” The image shakes as he moves around, steadying when the phone is set down. They can see Ienzo’s hands tapping at a keyboard.

Ven sighs. “We’re not sure. Some stuff has been going on, but it’s not like anyone’s out spreading darkness or anything. We’re just not sure where he went. If we knew what world he was on at least…”

“Yes, I can get you that. One moment.” Ven watches Ienzo tap a few more keys and then his hand picks the phone up again. Ienzo is clearly looking past the gummiphone, but after a few beeps from his end, Ienzo meets Ven’s eyes. “Found it. According to the data we have, he’s…” He stops, looks back at the computer, and frowns. “It says he’s in the Keyblade Graveyard.”

Terra squeezes his shoulder and Ven inhales sharply. “What?  _ Why? _ ”

Ienzo shakes his head. “While I can find out a lot, mind reading is beyond me. Especially at this distance. You’ll go find him, right?”

“Of course!” Ven stands up quickly. “Thanks a lot, Ienzo. I’ll let you know when we find him.”

“Good. Let us know if there’s anything else we can do to help.” Ienzo gives him a firm look and then the call ends. 

Ven is already moving toward the door. “Terra, can you call Xion and let her know? I want to get there as soon as possible.”

“Are you sure you don’t want back-up?” Terra follows him. But when Ven looks back, he can see Terra’s knuckles paling as he squeezes the book tight. How often does Terra dream of it? Of the empty place and wind howling through empty metal? Or worse, someone else wearing his face and bringing a keyblade down on one of them.

Ven smiles at him, forcing all the cheer he can into it. “I’ve got it. I doubt he’s in any danger and Xion will head right for us once you call her. Nobody’s as strong as she is when she’s ready for a fight.”

Terra coughs what’s almost a laugh. “True. Okay, Ven. Call me once you’ve found Roxas though, okay?” His hand lifts and Ven leans into the hair ruffle. Anything to ease the worry lines on Terra’s face.

“Yeah, of course! I’ll have him apologize to all of us for the scare and then we can keep all the popcorn from him tonight.” Ven widens his smile and then pushes the front door’s open. “We’ll be back before you know it.”

“Stay safe. We’ll be waiting here.” Terra puts his fist to his heart and bows slightly. It’s the send-off for a keyblade master, leaving to protect the worlds. Ven wants to stop, to go back and hug him tight. Even though sometimes they need him to be, Ventus is not a child anymore. He’s gone through things just as they have - some things he doesn’t remember, might not ever.

Chirithy drops from his shoulder, looking up at him. Ven smiles at them and it only shakes a bit. “You’ll meet me there?” The Dream Eater nods and then vanishes in a pop.

Ven looks at Terra, nods, and then moves through the doors. His fingers press down hard on the release for his armor. The pressure of it wrapping around him, its protection is comforting. As he opens a way into the Lanes Between, Ven tries to ignore the bubbling in his stomach that tells him that something is very wrong.


	12. Chapter 12

_ It’s always sunset here. The taste of salty-sweet ice cream on his tongue, the warmth of the sun, the call of friends down on the street, and yet there’s something missing. No longer a gap in his memories, strange going-ons in a town that was so familiar, but something he knows. He prods at the gap like he’s missing a tooth and can’t help himself. The edges ache. _

_ He should be happy. He has everything he’s ever wanted...and more. Except, the part of him he’d thought he’d hate forever, the part of him that stole his everything...the part of him that is the reason he exists, Sora is gone. _

_ Gone? No, he’s not gone. He’s right here. _

_ Roxas’s head lifts, eyes bright with tears he won’t let fall. He turns, looking into the shadows behind him. _

_ “Sora?” _

He jerks awake, immediately aware of the sort of full body ache that he’s only felt once or twice. Sora lifts his head enough to look down at himself and nothing seems too amiss. Exhaustion then or a quick  _ curaga _ that knitted up the immediate issue, but his body needs to sleep the rest off. He’s tempted to lie back and go back to sleep, let his body recover while he finally gets to rest.

But something doesn’t feel right and his fingers are locked around something. Sora lifts a hand and there’s a broken piece of something wrapped tightly in his fingers. He frowns and lifts the other hand. When he holds them together, he can see the vague original shape of a star. The material of them is strange in his fingers, almost kind of sticky. Sora sets them beside him on the ground, carefully lying them together so the shape is complete.

He pushes himself up to sitting. Where is he and what happened this time? Surrounded on all sides by gnarled dark trees, he can say for certain that he doesn’t recognize the landscape. The last thing he remembers is...the sunset? No, no, that was a dream. Before that he was flying. Flying through the dark, his fingers dug into someone’s shoulders because he was the only thing keeping them from the void below.

Sora presses a hand to his forehead. “Right,” he mumbles. “This place.” He should probably be worried about the fight, about the Darkside that had sent them flying out into the empty air, but it wasn’t in a forest. No, it had been on another strange platform and Vanitas had been diving toward it with fire growing around his keyblade. No, that was certainly taken care of.

But where’s Vanitas?

Looking around again, there’s no sign of his copy-faced companion. (Vanitas would kill him for thinking that, but as strange as Roxas and Ven were, Vanitas has his  _ face. _ ) The woods are dark and the trees are close, but they’re not so close as to hide everything. So far, Vanitas has stuck close, has  _ carried  _ him _ . _ He wouldn’t wander off and leave Sora behind. For some reason, he expects Sora to get him out of here and then...well, Sora’s not sure what Vanitas’s plan is. Going home already seems like a practically impossible task.

_ ‘You’ve broken one of the laws of the universe.’ _

Sora rubs at his face, trying to wake himself up. “Yeah, but it got them all home,” he mutters to no one. Even Chirithy is so very far from here now. It was nice to see them home, but he never would have guessed they belong to Ventus - not that he really knows Ven. He’s going to give himself a headache thinking about all of this again.

Ignoring the ache in his limbs, a familiar thing to do, he stands, one hand to the tree he was under for balance. Should he call for Vanitas? If Vanitas hasn’t left before then he’d only go somewhere if there was an issue. No shouting then, who knows what will come crawling out of the darkness next.

The wind picks up, rattling the branches and Sora exhales. It’s not like the wind off the sea, but it’s more than he expects from this empty place. “Not so empty anymore.” He rubs the tree trunk and looks up at the branches.

Directly above him, leaning back against the trunk with his legs stretched out the length of one of the branches, is Vanitas. Sora bites his lip rather than shout his name. For one, there still could be threats around. And for two, Vanitas is clearly asleep. His eyes are closed and his head is slumped down toward his shoulder. He’s not entirely relaxed; from the ground Sora can see his eyebrows are still drawn toward each other, a frown on his face that might be permanent. 

Does he frown like that? Sora frowns, but it’s not like there’s a mirror. His gummiphone vanished before he woke up here. Carefully, he pulls himself up onto another branch, keeping his eyes on the sleeping Vanitas. Could he wake him? Sure, but how much rest does Vanitas ever let himself have? Sora leans forward, closing some of the space between them.

Vanitas doesn’t twitch and Sora relaxes slightly. Now, he can really get a look at him. They’ve only met briefly before, always for fights. Traveling together here has given him time, but things have been so strange that Sora hasn’t really studied Vanitas’s face. Looking at him now, Sora can see that they’re not exactly the same. Vanitas has a narrowness to his face where Sora has heard that his face is softer, rounder. His ears are pointed, sticking out from his hair. That looks coarser than Sora’s too.

It brings up a million questions. How has Vanitas lived? Where has he lived? How did he come from Ventus and him? What  _ is _ Vanitas?

Sora leans back, rubbing at his eyes. How can he help either way? Vanitas has his keyblade while Sora can’t call anything to his fingers. He shoots his hand a look and then blinks. He turns his hand over, back and forth. There’s no hint of darkness staining his fingers anymore. He’s tired, but the drag against his heart is lighter. How did this-?

_ A little bouncing purple pot rests between his hands. One reaches inside and pulls out a big shard of light. It’s offered out into the darkness, toward him. When he takes it, everything feels warm. They promised. _

“The star!” Sora exclaims. He swings off the branch and back down to the ground. The broken star is still lying there, so much dimmer compared to the blurry memory. He picks it up, pressing the pieces back together. It doesn’t start to glow like before, is still a strangely sort of sticky, but it pushed back the darkness.

“You’re not dead again.” Rough, but lacking the snapped edge, even Vanitas’s voice sounds tired. When Sora looks up, he’s still leaning against the trunk of the tree, but his eyes are open.

Sora shoots him a smile. “Thanks to you, Vanitas. You took that Darkside down really quickly.”

Vanitas rolls his eyes and rubs at his shoulder. “It was weak. Did you even see it die?”

“Not that I remember, but I half-thought it died after that first shot.” Sora presses his fingers into the sugary star. “What’s this?”

“A star,” Vanitas says, still sounding more tired than annoyed. “You  _ will _ tell me what happened.” He skewers Sora with a look, like he can hold him in place. Sora sticks his tongue out.

“No shit. But all I can remember is someone offering it to me from a...pot?” His eyes squint as he tries to think. “It was purple.”

“It was an Unversed.” Vanitas shifts on the branch, letting his legs dangle. He exhales quietly as he looks toward the ground and Sora wonders how he’s feeling if he’s showing this much of it. “It disappeared?”

Sora gives the immediate area another look. “I haven’t seen it since I woke up.”

Vanitas frowns, his eyebrows drawing together. The lines of his face, animated now that he’s awake, are so harsh. Sora touches the end of his eyebrow with a finger, wondering how it looks when he’s that furiously angry. With a thump, Vanitas lands on the ground. He doesn’t stumble, but he does crouch lower than Sora expected before he stands up straight. Vanitas gives the pieces Sora’s holding a look. “You don’t need to keep those. They’ll go bad.”

“What are they? They feel kind of like sugar.”

“They’re treats.” Vanitas shrugs and presses his hair back from his forehead. “Now, tell me what happened.”

Sora shrugs. “I don’t remember anything past falling to the ground after dropping you. I figured I hit my head.” But then the treat… “What happened, Vanitas?”

“I was asking y-.” Vanitas growls and then cuts himself off. He rubs his forehead like he’s pressing back the thoughts. He inhales through his nose and then stares at Sora pointedly. “ _ You _ were all black with completely yellow eyes. You acted like an animal.”

Oh. “Oh, that.” Sora can feel the way his mouth twists downward. “That’s...not unusual. It started after I released my heart for Kairi’s.” He doesn’t like thinking about it, about darkness and rage coating him just when he reaches for the light, but he owes Vanitas the explanation. And if he’s talking...they don’t have to be moving while Vanitas is so clearly tired still. Perfect. 

Taking a seat against one of the trees, Sora fiddles with the sugary treat as if he’s too distracted to think of moving. After a moment, Vanitas sits down as well. “See, when it came to our second journey, the one where we went after Xemnas, that’s where I first got magic clothes,” Sora explains. He sets the star on the ground and tugs on one of his lapels. “Not these. These were made especially for the war.”

“Magic clothes,” Vanitas repeats. “Okay.” He doesn’t sound convinced.

“Yeah, the set before these gave me a new kind of magic. It’s the first time I could really shift forms and focus on one strength over another.” Sora tugs at his jacket, impressed to see that no tears or worn seams have cropped up. He thought the magic around him would be snuffed out here. “It worked most of the time, but sometimes it would just backfire. I don’t know why, but it was like the Heartless part of my heart would take hold. I’d go all black with yellow eyes.”

He flexes his fingers, imagining the claws. “That’s why...I guess I wasn’t too surprised by my hands going black. It felt like the same thing in a way. No claws though.” Sora claws the air with a lazy flip of his hand. “My memory of those times is spotty. It’s like... animal instinct. That’s why I can only sort of remember the Unversed.”

Vanitas crosses his arms over his chest, two of his fingers tapping against his upper arm. “How did you break out of it before?”

“It usually stopped when whatever was threatening us was gone. Or I’d need another minute to calm down.” Sora shrugs. “Donald and Goofy said I never went after them. I didn’t attack you, right?” He can’t imagine that he would - they’re allies!

“Oh, you did,” Vanitas says, sounding unconcerned. “Snuck up on me and everything. But you stopped after a minute.”

Now, they’re allies  _ now. _ Sora presses the heels of his palms into his eyes. “That’s good. Sorry.”

Vanitas scoffs at him. “Don’t apologize for attacking me. That’s one of your few good instincts. You’re tougher than Ventus was at the start.” He rests his wrist on his knee, staring off into the woods.

Yeah, Sora’s not going to talk about Ventus right now. That seems like a really good way to upset Vanitas and he’s way too tired and sore for following Vanitas when he storms off. He would like to know more, but well, if they get home, he’ll ask Ven the harder questions first. Sora covers a yawn and then picks up half the star. He considers it for a moment and then takes a bite. It’s really sweet, but also tastes a little bit like a pear. “Huh.”

“Why are you eating that?” There’s the snap Vanitas’s voice has been missing, but even that still sounds more like tired annoyance. It reminds Sora a lot of Riku, staring him down as he finds him and Kairi making up a ‘meal’ on the play island. 

Sora grins at Vanitas, buoyed by the thought. “It’s here and I wanted to.”

Vanitas sighs and slumps back against the tree. “Great. Glad it’s useful for something.” His eyes close. “Tell me when you’re done so we can get moving again.”

“Sure, Vanitas.” Time to eat slowly and hope Vanitas doesn’t notice how deliberate it is. Sora breaks off another point and lets it hang out of his mouth as he flexes his hands. He’s feeling better and they’re in a less empty place. Maybe, maybe he can do something again. Being able to glide again, even if it took so much energy, is a good sign.

Chewing on the sweet treat reminds him of brighter days at home and adventures through beautiful worlds. It reminds him of ice cream he hasn’t gotten to try yet, but whose flavor sits on the back of his tongue easily. Sora takes a breath, closes his eyes, and calls with all the heart he has.

His keyblade is friendship and light. Sometimes it changes shape, sometimes it splits in two, but it always reminds him of that moment in Hollow Bastion: a splash of light disappearing from Riku’s hand and the warm feeling of the keyblade settling back into his grip. Maybe he wasn’t chosen, not like Riku, but the keyblade came to him and let him protect his friends.

Light does not curl around his fingers now. No comforting grip settles into his waiting hands. No darkness cracks him open, roars around him like a fire. His fingers don’t sharpen into claws. Sora focuses on that feeling, of warmth and friendship, and  _ calls _ .

Something deep in his chest tugs, answering him, but his hands are just as empty as before. With a sigh, Sora leans back, dropping his hands into his lap. His heart is thumping like he’s been running, leaping wildly between the trees around them. Despite his empty hands, he feels...warmer. Slowly, Sora smiles. They’re not there yet, but they’re not as far away as they were before.

Hopping to his feet, he forgets about Vanitas’s exhaustion. He wants to get closer to home, to feel the warmth of the sun again. Sora shoves the rest of the half a treat into his mouth and then stretches his arms up over his head. They can do this.

“Come on, Vanitas. I bet we can find our way out of these woods in no time.” Sora offers him a hand and a smile.

Vanitas’s eyes open and he slaps the hand aside. “Shut up,” he says and then stands. “I got us here in the first place.”

“And I’ll get us to the next stairs or whatever we find.” Sora bounces on the balls of his feet and then starts walking. The warmth in his chest stays like the first spark of a new fire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is anti-form? A miserable pile of feelings. - Sora 2020


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay on this one. I devoted Camp NaNo in July to another project, so Safe & Sound got set by the wayside for a bit. But I'm back and we're back on track with the search for Roxas!

The thing about trying to find Roxas in the Keyblade Graveyard is that the Graveyard is goddamn  _ big. _ Zooming over the dusty, desolate land, Ven scans from side to side for any sign of Roxas. The rusted old keyblades that stand like grave markers blur together, a mass of grey and brown. This place has always been empty, been a wasteland that stood as testament to the destruction that could be wrought by misguided keyblade wielders. Ven remembers only snatches of being trained here, the howl of the wind and the distant clank of the keys. He doesn’t have time to think about it now. He needs to find Roxas.

His glider roars as he pushes himself faster, over the cliffs and toward the open plain full of old keys.  _ Why is Roxas here? Why would  _ ** _any_ ** _ of us want to come back here? _

Light flashes out of the corner of his eye and Ven pulls up sharply. He twists his glider around and there in the center of one of the empty intersections is Roxas. He has both keyblades out, and they’re glowing with light. As Ven leans forward and heads toward him, the light shoots out, meeting on the ground in front of him. It cracks open, exposing a keyhole far too familiar.

“Roxas!” Ven doesn’t slow a bit. He leaps off his glider as he gets close and slams into Roxas, knocking him over into the keyblades in a crash of metal. Ven sits up quickly, sending his armor away, but calls his keyblade to his hand. Roxas is collapsed on the ground, looking dazed, but with both keyblades still in his hand. Ven puts his free hand to Roxas’s shoulder, holding him in place, and looks behind them.

The circle of the gate whirls for a moment and then the light fades. Lacking the final unlock, the gate closes and the ground returns to normal. Ven sighs in relief and then looks back to Roxas. “Roxas, what the fuck?!” he asks like a calm and rational person.

Roxas’s gaze shifts to him, blinks, blinks again, and then closes his eyes. Ven almost shakes him, but squeezes his shoulder again. “Roxas, if you don’t answer me, I’m throwing you over my shoulder and taking you right to Xion who will kick your ass.”

“My head fucking  _ hurts _ . Shut up, Ven.” Roxas vanishes his keyblades and then presses a hand to his forehead. When he lifts it, Ven can see that he’s bleeding. “What the fuck?”

“That’s what I was asking you.” Ven flips Wayward Wind around, pointing it at Roxas.  _ Cure _ seals any cuts and heals any bruises. He helps Roxas sit up with a tug to his hand and looks around again. “Why are you here?”

“Here, where? I was waiting for...Xion.” Roxas looks around and his expression quickly falls. “I don’t remember leaving Twilight Town. What happened?”

_ Fuck. _ Ven scrubs at his face. “You took a corridor, we think. Xion called because you disappeared while she ran inside. You hadn’t come to our place, so I called Ienzo.”

Roxas is still scanning the land around them, one hand grabbing a fistful of his jacket and squeezing. “I don’t remember that at all.” His face is paling and he looks down. “Why would I-.”

“I don’t know, but Ienzo said you were here. I came as quick as I could and you were...you were opening a gate.” Ven bites his lip. Wait. “Chirithy,” he calls. “Did you see that?”

With a pop, Chirithy appears beside him. Ven scoops them up and offers them to Roxas. Dream Eaters are actually great comfort for post-crazy events. It’s hard to feel quite as bad while holding a very soft creature. Roxas looks at them and then takes them with a sigh. Chirithy settles in Roxas’s arm with a squeak. “I saw,” they say. “Roxas opened a gate to the Sleeping Realm.”

“The same kind Sora used to go after Kairi.” Ven rubs his forehead, tugging at his skin. “You don’t remember anything, Roxas?”

Roxas shakes his head. “I don’t know how to open a gate like that. What the  _ fuck. _ I thought I was done with this stupid memory missing stuff.” He squeezes Chirithy who pats his arm. “I could have disappeared and you wouldn’t have known.”

“We would have known.” Ven grabs his shoulder and squeezes it. “We would have, Roxas. And we would have looked and figured it out. Just like we are for So-.” He should have figured it out once Chirithy confirmed that it was the same kind of gate, but it only clicks when Ven starts to say Sora’s name. “Roxas, Sora knows how to open that gate and if he was reaching out to you, even if he didn’t know it, then  _ you _ would know how to do it.”

“Guess I’m still Sora’s puppet,” Roxas mutters. He shakes his head quickly. “No, I know what you mean. I was already being all weird, wasn’t I?”

“Yeah, like you were being pulled somewhere else. It was cold and dark…” Ven meets his eyes. “Sora’s close enough to reach out to you. We could find him.”

Roxas sucks in a breath. “If we can find him, then we can bring him back and everything will be fixed. Riku, Kairi, all of us can just live.”

Ven breaks into a smile. “We can do it!”

“No, no, no!” Chirithy wiggles free from Roxas’s grip and jumps into Ven’s face. “Ven, you can’t! It’s too dangerous to go to the Realm of Sleep. You could cross the divide! You could fall into the abyss!”

“Chirithy…” Ven frowns at them. “I know it’s dangerous, but it’s  _ Sora. _ He’s your friend too and without him, you and I never would have met again. We should do everything we can to bring him home.”

Chirithy slumps forward, ears going even flatter. “You don’t know what you’re asking. It’s very, very dangerous.”

“Dangerous is basically our normal,” Roxas says, cracking a small smile. “If it means getting Sora back, it’s worth the risk.”

“But Sora’s not just sleeping. It’s more complicated than that.” The Dream Eater continues to droop. “There’s a reason Master Yen Sid told Riku and Kairi not to go to the Realm of Sleep.”

Ven trades a look with Roxas. They both assumed it was the old master trying to keep the two of them from being reckless more than anything else. Ven picks Chirithy up and then stands. “I’m sure it’s complicated and dangerous and we don’t even really know what’s going on. But, Chirithy, Sora’s closer than before and Roxas could lead us to him. We can’t give up the first real lead we have.”

Dusting himself off, Roxas stands as well. “Especially if he’s yanking me around by the heart. I want Sora home  _ and _ I’d like to not go missing randomly.” He folds his arms across his chest. 

“Good point,” Ven says slowly. “This isn’t something we can keep doing. If we go in  _ knowing _ what we’re doing, that’s way better.” He looks at Chirithy. “You can’t stop us, Chiry.”

Chirithy stares up at him and then shakes their head. “I know. You’re always so stubborn.” They wiggle free of his hands and land on his shoulder. “I’m going with you. Friends have to stick together.”

Ven rubs their cheek with a smile. “Yeah, they do.” He looks at Roxas. “We shoul-.”

“Roxas!” There’s a loud rip as a dark corridor opens. It’s barely solidified before Xion is through, grabbing Roxas by the shoulders. “You scared the shit out of me!” She shakes him a bit.

“Sorry, sorry!” Roxas holds his hands up. “I didn’t mean to. It’s Sora’s fault!”

“You can’t blame everything on Sora! It was dumb enough when you said that you can’t eat green stuff because Sora’s allergic. You can’t be allergic to a color!” Xion stops shaking him, still scowling. “What happened?”

Ven covers his grin. “It  _ was _ Sora this time, Xion. Roxas was opening a gate to the Sleeping Realm when I got here. We think Sora’s close enough to unknowingly pull on his connection to Roxas.”

Xion frowns. “That’s not...well, it’s kind of good, but it’s not  _ great _ for Roxas. What are we going to do?”

Gently, Roxas grabs her arm. “We’re going after him.” He meets her gaze steadily and after a moment, Xion breaks into a grin. They hug each other tightly and Chirithy makes a little squeaking noise.

Ven shushes them, tapping their noise. “We should probably let people know what we’re doing. And if we need anything…”

“No masters,” Xion says, turning to face him. “Aqua’s cool, but she’ll stop us if she gets a chance.”

No question about that - Aqua’s still careful to keep track of all of them. Ventus understands, but they  _ have _ to go after Sora. Ven nods. “No, but I need to say something to Riku and Kairi. They’re looking for him harder than any of us.”

“Well, duh,” Xion mutters. “Fine. Roxas, what do you have for items right now?” They start sharing what they have and Ven pulls his phone out.

He sends a quick message to Ienzo and Terra to let them know that he found Roxas, everything’s fine, and he’ll give them the full story later. A couple clicks and then he’s connecting to Riku’s phone. It only rings twice and then Riku answers.

Riku smiles at him, the empty sort of default one that he’s been wearing for months. “Hey, Ven. What’s up?”

“Is Kairi with you?” Ven keeps the gummiphone close, hoping Riku doesn’t see enough of the background to ask questions just yet.

“Ah, no, she’s taking a day off with friends from home. I’m meeting them for lunch in a bit.” Riku frowns, already picking up that something isn’t the same as normal. “Everything okay?”

“It’s fine. It would just be easier to tell you both at the same time.” Ven shoots him a smile that’s almost as forced as the one Riku gave him. “Don’t panic, but Roxas, Xion, and I are going after Sora.” He pauses, waiting for the reaction: explosive or complete silence.

Riku stares at him for a very long moment and then runs a hand down his face. “Okay,” he says quietly. “How?”

A corridor opens as Roxas and Xion wave to him. “Be right back,” Xion says. “We want to grab a couple things and then we can go!”

Ven shoots them a thumb’s up and turns back to Riku. It’s not a particularly long story, but Ven feels like he’s rambling as he explains everything: Roxas being pulled at by someone, the gate, and the vague dreams. Riku listens silently, his eyes fixed on Ven’s face. It’s a bit awkward and Ven keeps glancing away from him. Riku has a way of fixing his attention on something until you can feel the force of his gaze.

“And that’s really it. Waiting feels like waiting for Roxas to get pulled away and then we’ll have no way of helping him  _ or _ Sora.” Ven tugs the spikes of his hair to the side. “Chirithy thinks it’s too dangerous for us to go, but I feel like we have the strongest chance.”

Riku’s still quiet, looking down now. He inhales and then exhales at a steady rate, probably counting to himself. Ven waits in silence. Riku doesn’t look up, even when he nods. “It makes sense. You guys, you’re all connected to Sora in ways we aren’t. Even the paopu…” He shakes his head and sits up straighter. “Can’t you wait for us to come with you?”

“We could…” Kairi would drop everything to come along with Riku, and they could be here in an hour probably. Ven bites his lip.

Chirithy taps his chest and then tugs at his arm. Ven lowers the phone so Riku can see the Dream Eater. “I’m going with them, Riku, so they’ll have someone who knows the Sleeping Realm. You know how hard it is to keep people together. A bigger group means more danger.”

“Still - no, you’re right.” Riku shakes his head. “Alright, you guys go. Bring him back  _ please _ .”

Ven’s chest tightens. “We will,” he promises quietly. “I’ll do everything I can, Riku.”

“Don’t get hurt yourself. That won’t fix it.” Riku fixes him with a look and then gives a self-deprecating smile. “Trust me, he won’t be satisfied if we give up for him.”

Sora would tear the universe apart to bring any of them back if they took his place. Ven smiles. “We’ll bring him back all together, just like he did for us.” They all owe Sora and more than that, he’s their friend. He’s been gone long enough - it’s time he came home.


	14. Chapter 14

_ Is this the limit of your strength? Is this all you can do with your pathetic existence, boy? Perhaps I should have kept the other one after all if this is all you can muster. _

_ No, Master, I can keep going. _

Exhaustion drags at his bones, tugging at his joints until they feel as heavy as lead. There is no source of pain, no injury that has sapped his strength, and no body-wide ache that can be traced to multiple attacks. Exhaustion, a beast indefinable and lingering, sinks its claws deeper into him and Vanitas slumps under the weight of it.

There is no cause, no  _ reason _ , and it infuriates him. Who knows how long he slept for once he dropped Sora under one of the trees and sought safety in its branches for himself. He had to stop, because he had been so tired he couldn’t take another damn step. Sleeping should have chased this off, beat it back. How often does he get to sleep the dreamless hours of an exhausted sleep? Not fucking often.

Yet it’s done nothing for him. Vanitas feels nearly as exhausted as he did when he slipped into unconsciousness. Either something is draining his energy or something he did has greatly impacted his stability. It’s not difficult for him to track back to when he first started feeling tired and then completely worn out: it was right after he gave Sora the damn treat. A piece from his negativity, not even really connected to him, but now…

His eyes move from the trees to the back of Sora’s head.

Sora is in the lead now, moving forward with a more energetic gait than he’s had since Vanitas woke him the first time. Even his ribs don’t seem to be bothering him as he twists from looking through the trees to staring up at the darkness above. He’s clearly feeling better even though the darkness was licking through his heart like a fire mere hours ago.

_ Is he taking even more from me? Wasn’t my being already enough? _

His identity, his face, both were broken into pieces and then reassembled from the leftover parts of others. The darkness from the Ventus that was, the face of a boy who interceded in things that did not concern him, and a shard of his master to both strengthen and control. Vanitas is not a fool. His survival depended on these things, these  _ interventions _ . He was already nearly gone when his master reached out and brought him back for one more war.

_ One more chance, Vanitas. Do this and you will finally be free of your miserable existence. _

Freedom has never been something he wanted. He wanted to be whole, to be himself again. But after his failure, freedom from his own existence is the best he could expect. And now, he doesn’t even have that.

He glares at the back of Sora’s head, willing it to crack to pieces. If Sora was gone, if Ventus, his master, and all the rest were gone, then he’d be free to be what he should have been all along. His fingers curl into fists, his wrists complaining at the movement.  _ Wishful thinking. The damage has already been done.  _

Vanitas, the piece riven, is too much other to be what was. Escape is all he has to hope for. And to escape, he needs someone else.  _ You always need someone else. You’re never strong enough to do things on your own. Didn’t Ventus prove that years and years ago? You’re the weak one now. _

**Enough.** Vanitas does as he always has and bundles the feelings and thoughts into tight packages. These do not leave his heart, leave his skin. The Unversed do not come easily here and after the effort of the last one, he’s in no rush to do it again. The feelings sit like knots in his chest, but their creeping tendrils do not extend beyond what he allows them. He might be weak, might be the lesser piece, but he has mastered himself in a way Ventus will never have to.

He exhales, heavily, quietly. It’s too quiet here, even with Sora. There’s no howling wind to mute his thoughts. Exhaustion makes it easier for them to whisper to him, to remind him of his failures in a voice that sounds so much like his master’s. His master failed as much as he ever did, if Sora is telling the truth. Both of them held the x-blade in their hands, just to have it slip away because of someone they considered weak.

He’s running himself in circles. Vanitas bites the inside of his cheek, hard enough to draw even his exhausted mind to attention. This is an issue, but there is a solution. Sora is leading them towards only he knows what, but progress is being made. His exhaustion is a hurdle, however. He needs to identify the cause and deal with it.

Is it containing his emotions in his skin? His body is unused to such a thing, no matter that it would be  _ normal _ for everyone else. His form is worn out, but then why did making one of the Unversed not help? Was it the shaping of an emotion he seldom feels, the forced nature doing more to tire him than alleviate the tension?

And the energy from it should have come back now that it’s vanished. He can’t even feel the damn thing, so it didn’t flit off to explore or hide somewhere else. Everything here is too heavy, too dark even for him. Is this what darkness feels like, pure and unrelenting in its weight?

His head hurts as everything turns over in his thoughts. They twist around one another, tangling and stumbling with the sluggishness of exhaustion. He might actually hate being tired more than Sora the longer this goes on. How stupid.

_ Wake up! _ Vanitas smacks both of his cheeks and it’s loud enough to echo through the trees. He stops, face flushing, as Sora twists around to look at him.

Sora stares at him, bites his lip, and then carefully asks, “You okay?”

“Fine,” Vanitas snaps, dropping his hands. “I’m trying to figure out what this place is and nothing seems obvious.”

“Ah.” Sora keeps looking at him. “Do you...want to take a break?”

_ He sees how tired you are, how weak. He knows you’re nothing but his shadow. _

Vanitas glares at him. “No. We’ve hardly gotten anywhere. Keep moving.”

“Alright, alright.” Sora shrugs and doesn’t move.

With a growl, Vanitas walks past him, shouldering him. Sora sighs and catches up a second later, falling into stride with him. It’s irritating for no reason Vanitas can truly describe. He stares forward instead of looking at Sora. The path under their feet has been growing clearer, the stones settling into place instead of being an uneven remnant of what could have once been a road.

“The last part felt like a graveyard for something lost. Maybe this is just another lost place.” Sora’s voice is quiet, unsure. Apparently thinking is so unfamiliar to him that he barely knows how to do it. Vanitas scoffs, but rather than deterring him, Sora firms his chin and his voice. “We know this isn’t the Realm of Darkness and it doesn’t feel like the Realm of Sleep either. The only other place I know is the abyss beyond the Realm of Darkness. Riku and the King said Aqua fell into it, but they found her on the beach instead of a place like this…”

“Nobody seems to know anything about the abyss, except that it’s deeper and darker than the Realm of Darkness. It seems like nothing can come out unless it’s called to somehow. They wanted someone with a strong bond to Aqua to call for her.” Sora folds his arms across his chest. “But we’ve been climbing higher with no real call to us, right?”

Vanitas sighs, but it’s not a faulty line of logic. “No. No one knows I’m alive, but you they’d be calling for. You’re their little hero.”

“Shut up,” Sora says with no real heat. “I bet Ven thinks about you plenty. I know I would be after our fight.” He hums, a finger tapping against his arm. “If this is the abyss, it would make sense that things here are lost places, one that fell too far to be saved. They slipped out of the Realm of Darkness and ended up here.”

_ Ventus had better think about me, about the part of him that will never be right again. _ The thought is sharp, the kind that burns in his chest in a flame that never goes out. Once, he would have wished to go back, to return to who they were meant to be. But Ventus was correct, Vanitas is correct, they’re no longer two pieces that can be slotted together into a perfect whole. The worst burn is in knowing that once he fades into nothing, Ventus won’t remember him as his life goes on.

_ Focus! _

Vanitas nods sharply. “It could happen. Things don’t last in the Realm of Darkness, especially not forgotten things.”

“Maybe this is the abyss then…” Sora exhales and rubs at his side. “I don’t know if that helps us or not. It doesn’t tell us what’s helping us climb out or find my pieces.”

“Like calls to like,” Vanitas says with a shrug. “It could just be you. It usually is.”

Sora snorts. “It’s a coincidence, Vanitas. Right place, right time. It’s not like I was chosen like Riku was.” He squints, leaning forward a bit. “Huh, what’s that?” He jogs ahead, peering forward for something. Maybe it’s a change of subject, maybe not.

Sora is really a fool though, if he believes that. He’s certainly an  _ ordinary _ person, but that doesn’t mean that things haven’t swirled around him enough for destiny of a sort to settle on his shoulders. Vanitas shakes his head. Whatever. He won’t be around long enough to see how that turns out for Sora.

The world fuzzes, everything shifting a bit, and he has to stop and bite the inside of his cheek. This cannot become a bigger problem. They need to keep moving, regardless of this stupid exhaustion that won’t pass. It will have to. He is not a thing that succumbs to weak little limits. Forcibly, he picks up his pace; his joints grind like concrete and the tug of his muscles feels like hooks dragging him in every wrong direction, but he’s never let similar stop him before. Moving quickly, it doesn’t take him long to catch up with Sora.

Maybe he’s panting a bit, but Vanitas firmly presses his lips together and breathes through his nose.  _ Never show weakness. It will be taken advantage of. _ Sora looks at him, he can feel those bright blue eyes studying his face, and then shakes his head. Sora folds his hands behind his head and nods to the view in front of them: the trees are thinning and several of the empty branches have highlights in a variety of colors on them.

“Something’s ahead. You think it’s more stairs?” Sora shifts his weight between his feet as if he’d like to move, but he stays put.

_ He’s coddling you, _ something hisses in Vanitas’s head. He swallows the anger along with the shallow breathing. Sora can coddle all he likes - Vanitas isn’t the one who needs it. Without a word, he strides forward. They can find out what it  _ is _ by looking at it. He can hear Sora huff and then the smack of his shoes as he follows.

Vanitas almost,  _ almost _ , starts running to put distance between them. It wouldn’t be hard with Sora’s broken ribs. But there’s no point in it other than needling Sora and right now he’s too tired to put that much of an effort in.  _ Sora likes breaks. Maybe he’ll ask for one once you sort this out and then you’ll be able to rest. _ That voice is temptation, always cloying and teasing like a tickle to his palms. It always wants him to give in and he refuses.

The trees thin around them, but the sky above is still completely black. No stars, no moon, no sky. It’s the void, or the abyss, and they’re alone in the blackness. Except for the trees, the stone path, and the lights ahead.

When they finally reach the tree line, Vanitas isn’t sure what he’s expecting. More cracked glass leading away into the dark? Maybe it’ll be some giant Heartless throwing off light to lure them in. Maybe it’ll be a giant fucking castle for some reason. Maybe this is all a dream.

Sora pushes himself off the ground, gliding forward. He lands again and gasps. “Vanitas, look!”

“No, I thought I’d turn around and run back into the forest,” Vanitas mutters. He looks past Sora and really, it’s not that exciting.

More stairs climb away into the dark, but these are a full set built into stone. There are no supports under them, but they climb higher regardless. The rainbow of lights comes from the steps themselves - each one is made up of pieces of brightly colored glass. Despite the darkness around them, the pieces glow with light, sending color all around them.

“You know, this reminds me of something,” Sora says softly. “Have you ever seen someone’s heart?”

“Oh.” He’s right. It looks exactly like the glowing glass platform that they clashed on. Maybe these stairs are made of the fragments that never recovered, gathered in a forgotten place to lead Sora back to himself, to his friends.

Vanitas exhales and it’s very hard not to close his eyes.  _ Maybe if I fall asleep, this will all be a dream, and I’ll be where I’m supposed to be. _ But if he’s there and dreaming, things still aren’t right. He pinches his wrist, hard enough to bruise, and lets the pain wake him. “You’ve seen one then?”

Sora nods. “I’ve dreamed about mine and then when I was tracking down Kairi, I touched a bunch of our hearts.” He lifts a hand to his, resting it over his chest. His expression can only be described as wistful. “There’s nothing like it.”

No, there isn’t. When Vanitas had finally touched Ventus’s heart, when they finally came back together, he felt whole for the first time in his memory. He had felt  _ welcome _ and  _ right _ . All of his edges slid back into place like they’d never been there in the first place - finally, a complete picture. They had been everything.

_ And then Ventus smashed them like a hammer. _

Vanitas shakes his head. Now’s not the time for that. He’ll never see Ventus again and that is the best possible outcome. He starts walking forward and climbs up onto the first stair. Turning back to look at Sora, he says flatly, “Come on.” Sora nods and hurries after him. 

Their steps tap against the glass and neither of them notices the way the light flares beneath them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Life has me feeling like Vanitas, but hey, things will look up for him and I'll keep pushing for things to be better for my life too!


End file.
